It is obvious that life is full of ups and downs. 2011 was full of twists, turns, and loops... a roller coaster ride that would knock your socks off. I look forward to 2012 being the same way (in a good way)... adding to this roller coaster known as life. I look back at the "yesterdays" of 2011 and see the highs and lows, goods and bads... there were easily more enjoyable moments than downers. The less enjoyable memories are probably more like things in my life that are out of my control and let's be honest, who really enjoys not having control of a seemingly crappy situation?
However, I have learned... learned from the yesterdays I did not so much enjoy... learned that God always has my back when I am up against a wall. I have learned that it is not even really "back against the wall" but more like "backed up against God." I have also come to realize how often I have turned to Him as a LAST resort instead of seeking Him first and foremost, through all of the thicks and thins and not just the goods. I have learned how a kind word and a little care, even from hundreds of miles away, can bring comfort to a grieving heart. I have seen how a listening ear can be appreciated even by those you would not necessarily expect it from... and how that can get somebody through a tough day when it looks impossible in the wee hours of the morning.
Lessons learned; learning loved. How amazing it is that something difficult bears positives in the end... what a witness to God's goodness. He is so amazing!!! I look at the rough spots and I am amazed... and then I remember the beautiful scenes passed by on the journey through 2011. That is the point in which I stand in complete awe of God's works. I look back at 2011 and see the amazing works God has done. I reminisce on the blessings and my thoughts also wander to how many times God has rescued me from a tough spot. He has blessed me in ways unimaginable!! Here are a "few" highlights (or a lot of highlights because I can not just share a few...).
-An awesome church (Faith Evangelical Free) and an amazingly loving spiritual family.
-Seeing Christians doing what they love to do and being able to use that to witness to those around... examples: my doctor, the secretary at the dentist office I visit, one of the executives at GTM, the Director of Housing and Dining at KSU... amazing people who love what they do.
-A miracle performed by God in my life... there is no other explanation for my body surviving without a need for insulin shots and for the ability to decrease oral diabetic meds... only God can perform that miracle.
-A brother married and two more engaged.
-A beautiful nephew to watch grow... who I love seeing and stand in awe of the mystery known as life... and who decided he could walk.
-My Baptism!!! A symbol of how life with Christ has truly changed me.
-At LEAST 35 pounds lost... and how great that makes me feel!!
-Co-workers who are so stinkin awesome and a job I enjoy greatly even when it is frustrating.
-Working with fellow Christians and what a blessing they can be!
-My LIFE GROUP ROCKS!!! Need I say more?
-Weddings and engagements of some of my best friends... AND FRIENDS WITH BABIES (or babies on the way)... =)
-Anonymous gifts that help me and move me to tears.
-My health and not taking it for granted.
-The new "friends" God has blessed me with and how amazing they are!!
-The word God placed on my heart for 2011: Focus. The meaning of that word, God used so often in my day to day life.
And there are SO MANY MORE blessings that I have not mentioned... there are far to many. Focus... God's word for me in 2011. It is a word that so often came to heart... especially when I took my eyes off of where my focus should be: on the Cross and what it truly stands for. I do not usually make New Year's Resolutions... but last year I took the "challenge" from K-Love to choose a word and stick with it. Focus. This year's word: Commitment. Although I regained some "focus" throughout the past year, I did not always remain committed to the true meaning in my life. I can have focus... but lack the commitment I should have with it. That is what I want to add to my life... commitment added to focus.
I sit and wonder what I have committed my life to lately... some good and some bad. More good than bad. I know we all lose sight of the "goal we should be running towards" (Philippians 3:14). What is it that I should be committing my time, energy, and focus to? When I commit, I now want it to be all out... following the One my life is supposed to be focused on... commitment to Christ, my daily resolution. I am so excited to see what God does in the "tomorrows" of 2012. When I commit, I want to commit for Christ and Him alone. In all I do, I want it to be done for Him. I reflect on the cross... and that was God's commitment to me... the death of the Son on the cross. What a commitment!!! I want to be committed to the one who holds my life in the palm of His hands... letting Him control (Isaiah 49:16). "Let go... Let God" is a motto to live by... I say it, can I act on it? I want to commit my everything to Him... give Him my all and more (Colossians 3:23). In all that I do, I pray that I do it for Him, with His guidance. I pray that I commit my life to being healthy, working out, eating right, and treating my body as though it truly is a temple of our Lord (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). I pray that I commit to build people up with my words... not tear them down as I have done so much recently... that my words would be encouraging to those who hear them... (Ephesians 4:29). I know that I have been blessed... I pray that I use my blessings to bless those around me. I pray that I am smart and commit everything to Him... including my finances which I usually have the most difficulty with... that I would be smart the way God wants me to be smart and that money would not rule my life the way it has done in the past. I pray I will be committed to my Prince... my Knight in Shining Armor, Jesus Christ.
I know I will stumble and fall... we all fall down... we all fall short of God... nobody is perfect (Romans 3:23). I pray that when I fall, I get back up on my feet, let Him dust me off, and follow through on the commitment that I made August 2nd, 2007... the commitment to live for Christ who died for me. I made it, lost focus, broke it, renewed it through His grace... and now I want to follow through, recognizing what He has done for me in my life. I pray that my life is committed to Christ alone. That is my resolution... a renewed resolution... a resolution that should have meant more to me than what it truly has. Commitment to Christ.
2012: Commitment. Happy New Year!!!
BTW, Josh and Zoe, I will TRY to make it part of that commitment to come to at least ONE yoga class... just because you challenged me ;).
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Word for 2012: Commitment
Verse for 2012: Colossians 3:23
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"Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people."
~*Colossians 3:23*~
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas Blessings
It's a wonderful feeling, really, being blessed. Christmas has had me thinking a lot the past week... thinking about how blessed I am. Small things like the experience of sleeping in a brand new bed... the little things in life we often take for granted... anonymous gifts that almost bring me to tears... spending time with all of my family… the multitude of presents that are received throughout the holiday season. It is wonderful to be blessed... but it isn't necessarily the gifts that are received that has me thinking. What has my mind flying is the thought and the intangibles of the season and why it exists in the first place. God sent His son... to save me. Lavished by the love of God. And He could have stopped at Jesus... the birth... the cross... the death that saves lives. But God, He didn't stop there. Every single day I am blessed beyond measure through God. I also experience the blessings that are not meant for me... gifts that will bless people who need it more than me.
Living where I do, at theHomestead
Christmas Blessings... God's blessings... a time to think and recognize and remember how much God loves us. Merry Christmas!!!!
Living where I do, at the
Christmas Blessings... God's blessings... a time to think and recognize and remember how much God loves us. Merry Christmas!!!!
Friday, December 16, 2011
There is a Way
Often I have been told that being shattered and to the point of broken is where God can minister to us the most. It is the most unpleasant place but a beautiful place to start. It brings us to the end of self and turns our eyes to Him. We get to the point that we no longer can rely on our own strength or even the strength of those around us… the only strength that can keep us going is that of our Lord. When life knocks us down, stay prostrate on the floor and worship Him. God will pick you up when He is ready. Let His strength be your strength and allow Him into your heart to work out the healing He provides. Nothing else can fill the hole that tragedy leaves… nothing else can fill that hole of grief and pain left behind. I am not able to begin to imagine the anger, questioning, grief, and wondering that goes with the gut-wrenching pain of loss… sometimes I kind of wish I did so that maybe I could find a way to offer a little more comfort.
We are His lost little sheep… sometimes caught in the thicket… but the Good Shepherd comes back for us, and if we let Him, He will rescue us, pick us up, clean us off, and nurse us back to health. Life truly is but a vapor… some a smaller breath than others (John 14:27). It is hard to bring glory in such hard times… but it opens a door to shine a light in the valley of darkness where light does not often shine. Lift your eyes up to Him. Let His glory shine… I have seen it so much already in these tough times.
Jesus is our rock and our salvation. He has built a fortress around our hearts that cannot be overtaken. God is our help and our comfort and only HE knows the excruciating pain being felt in times of loss. HE KNOWS… and therefore He alone can offer enough comfort and strength to get us through. Our purpose is to bring glory and honor to Him… to praise Him in the storm and shine His light for others to see His glory and majesty. Let Him find you… take His hand… and walk. Let Him pick you up and carry you when you cannot walk anymore and become too weak. His strength never runs out… His river of peace, comfort, and love never runs dry. Run to Him and fall helplessly into His arms.
We are His lost little sheep… sometimes caught in the thicket… but the Good Shepherd comes back for us, and if we let Him, He will rescue us, pick us up, clean us off, and nurse us back to health. Life truly is but a vapor… some a smaller breath than others (John 14:27). It is hard to bring glory in such hard times… but it opens a door to shine a light in the valley of darkness where light does not often shine. Lift your eyes up to Him. Let His glory shine… I have seen it so much already in these tough times.
Jesus is our rock and our salvation. He has built a fortress around our hearts that cannot be overtaken. God is our help and our comfort and only HE knows the excruciating pain being felt in times of loss. HE KNOWS… and therefore He alone can offer enough comfort and strength to get us through. Our purpose is to bring glory and honor to Him… to praise Him in the storm and shine His light for others to see His glory and majesty. Let Him find you… take His hand… and walk. Let Him pick you up and carry you when you cannot walk anymore and become too weak. His strength never runs out… His river of peace, comfort, and love never runs dry. Run to Him and fall helplessly into His arms.
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I Wish There Was a Way
12/14/11
By: Sharina Marie Schaller
I wish there was a way for me
To take away the pain…
To take the pain that breaks these hearts
And throw it all away
My heart breaks for those hurting
…unimaginable pain they feel
To be able to offer some advice
On learning how to heal
I pray these hearts find comfort
Some form of peace inside
That the tears might stop flowing
And the pain would gently subside
There is a way… in Jesus!!
He can heal the pain
He lived a life for you and me
And died but not in vain.
Jesus can take away the pain
He knows the pain of loss
He opened the gates of Heaven
As His arms spread on the cross
Turn to Him in wonder
Praise Him in this storm
When we meet Him face to face
This pain shall be no more.
Lean into Him
Feel strength in His arms
Let Him wrap His love around you
Only God can heal your heart.
I wish there was a way for me
To take away the pain…
To take the pain that breaks these hearts
And throw it all away
My heart breaks for those hurting
…unimaginable pain they feel
To be able to offer some advice
On learning how to heal
I pray these hearts find comfort
Some form of peace inside
That the tears might stop flowing
And the pain would gently subside
There is a way… in Jesus!!
He can heal the pain
He lived a life for you and me
And died but not in vain.
Jesus can take away the pain
He knows the pain of loss
He opened the gates of Heaven
As His arms spread on the cross
Turn to Him in wonder
Praise Him in this storm
When we meet Him face to face
This pain shall be no more.
Lean into Him
Feel strength in His arms
Let Him wrap His love around you
Only God can heal your heart.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Binding a Broken Heart
About a week and a half ago I shared "Breaking Down My Pride", something that God is continually doing in my life. I shared how my pride often blinds me and how sometimes God breaks down pride by putting life as I know it on hold. He has been showing me how much I have taken for granted in my life. Over the past few days, God has brought to mind a few things I have taken for granted... and honestly have cherished selfishly. My health, my family, and my life are a few. Yes, my health and diabetes has left me feeling kind of lousy at times recently, but it is getting better and my problems are minor compared to some I know. I love my family. I look forward to the holidays when I get to travel home to see them. I love my spiritual family and the support they give me away from home. I am twenty-four years old and blessed, but for some sad reason I may not always see it that way. I look at the lives of some of those closest to me and the unbelievably difficult circumstances that they are facing.
A friend who's husband was just diagnosed with cancer. Another who has a mother battling for her life... who is also trying to balance that with wedding planning and grad school. My heart was left breaking... and recently it has broken to bleeding... pain for those in pain that I don't know if I've experienced before. A friend who lost a younger sister because of an asthma attack and a family and young husband grieving the loss of a loved one. A few short days later I learn of another friend who is battling the loss of a younger brother killed in a car accident. That was the breaking point for my heart and the tears would not stop coming as I looked at the lives of those I love and hold so dear. Pain for those in pain... grief for those grieving. In no way can I even imagine the pain truly felt... the gut wrenching and aching pain that only Christ can help subside. My stomach knots as I type this... wondering how to manage so much in such a short time. I'm in awe by those above... not sure how I could ever begin to process or handle a situation like any of them.
But here is what amazes me: the faith shown through all of this by those mentioned above. The faith shown in the midst of tragedy and hardship. Faithful. Beautiful. Faith for the One who gives and takes away... our Creator and Redeemer. It is amazing, and yet a strange feeling, when the one trying to encourage the hurting is encouraged by them instead. I am experiencing that feeling right now. I'm in awe of so much faith and love... how when I call to check up on one person they instead check up on me... how one can maintain a balance of craziness in life and still give their time to help me move... how a grieving father loses a twenty-two year old daughter and still shares how it is in God's plan for life and the purpose of all is for good and how eternal healing has been perfected... how a sister grieving the loss of a twenty-three year old brother can say to me "We will def miss him! Lucky guy - gets to be with Jesus! :-) Thankfully Jesus can be in more than one place at once"... and I'm left stunned and unsure what to say.
How many millions of words are spoken through so few words and actions like these? My heart is left to wonder how many lives are touched or are being ministered to by such words and actions like these. My mind is still trying to wrap itself around it all. I am blessed. I am encouraged and blessed and my heart is being bound by such words and actions of faith. Faith in action... it speaks millions. Worship in words. The tears are no longer that of grief alone but of joy and amazing encouragement offered by those around me... words of those who truly know what it may look like to walk through the valley of the shadow of death and have a table prepared before them in the presence of the enemy (as stated by a sister in one of the scenarios given). And so it continues... binding up a broken heart. God will bind up a bleeding and broken heart... He is the only one who can!!! It is amazing to experience how God works.
--------------------------------
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
~*Psalm 34:18*~
"The Lord is close to all who call on him,
yes, to all who call on him in truth."
~*Psalm 145:18*~
"He heals the brokenhearted
and bandages their wounds."
~*Psalm 147:3*~
A friend who's husband was just diagnosed with cancer. Another who has a mother battling for her life... who is also trying to balance that with wedding planning and grad school. My heart was left breaking... and recently it has broken to bleeding... pain for those in pain that I don't know if I've experienced before. A friend who lost a younger sister because of an asthma attack and a family and young husband grieving the loss of a loved one. A few short days later I learn of another friend who is battling the loss of a younger brother killed in a car accident. That was the breaking point for my heart and the tears would not stop coming as I looked at the lives of those I love and hold so dear. Pain for those in pain... grief for those grieving. In no way can I even imagine the pain truly felt... the gut wrenching and aching pain that only Christ can help subside. My stomach knots as I type this... wondering how to manage so much in such a short time. I'm in awe by those above... not sure how I could ever begin to process or handle a situation like any of them.
But here is what amazes me: the faith shown through all of this by those mentioned above. The faith shown in the midst of tragedy and hardship. Faithful. Beautiful. Faith for the One who gives and takes away... our Creator and Redeemer. It is amazing, and yet a strange feeling, when the one trying to encourage the hurting is encouraged by them instead. I am experiencing that feeling right now. I'm in awe of so much faith and love... how when I call to check up on one person they instead check up on me... how one can maintain a balance of craziness in life and still give their time to help me move... how a grieving father loses a twenty-two year old daughter and still shares how it is in God's plan for life and the purpose of all is for good and how eternal healing has been perfected... how a sister grieving the loss of a twenty-three year old brother can say to me "We will def miss him! Lucky guy - gets to be with Jesus! :-) Thankfully Jesus can be in more than one place at once"... and I'm left stunned and unsure what to say.
How many millions of words are spoken through so few words and actions like these? My heart is left to wonder how many lives are touched or are being ministered to by such words and actions like these. My mind is still trying to wrap itself around it all. I am blessed. I am encouraged and blessed and my heart is being bound by such words and actions of faith. Faith in action... it speaks millions. Worship in words. The tears are no longer that of grief alone but of joy and amazing encouragement offered by those around me... words of those who truly know what it may look like to walk through the valley of the shadow of death and have a table prepared before them in the presence of the enemy (as stated by a sister in one of the scenarios given). And so it continues... binding up a broken heart. God will bind up a bleeding and broken heart... He is the only one who can!!! It is amazing to experience how God works.
--------------------------------
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
~*Psalm 34:18*~
"The Lord is close to all who call on him,
yes, to all who call on him in truth."
~*Psalm 145:18*~
"He heals the brokenhearted
and bandages their wounds."
~*Psalm 147:3*~
Sunday, December 11, 2011
{W}hole - Downing Doubt
So I was finishing up the book {W}hole by Lisa Whittle and let me tell you friends, that book is AMAZING!!! There are SO MANY THOUGHTS to share... but I will spare you a lot of them as it would take about 10... or 20... or 50 blogs to share everything flying through my head while I was reading this book. ANYWAYS I was finishing this book Saturday night and a line towards the end caught my eye... and grabbed my heart.
"Though it is difficult to labor without the guarantee of fruit, that cannot be our motive to serve God or we won't last long."
These thoughts came to me last night (Saturday night) as I finished the book. So here are my thoughts: God is saving me right now. While going toHaiti Haiti
----------------------------------------------------------
NOW, to share with you what happened this morning at church. All of the above was last night... the next part of this novel (sorry it is so long) is everything that happened this morning. I will just say that God is SO STINKIN' COOL!!! It's awesome!!! Sorry it is so long... I like to write... it's a disease I have ;).
An add on to Saturday... doubt. Doubt that I had heard God speak to me aboutHaiti Haiti trip, and he was in the process of mentioning to somebody else how three different teams associated with the other co-leader of our team had to cancel plans to go work in Haiti
I sat and listened to the sermon and wondered what God was working out with recent events. My friend was helping lead worship today. I see her quite often as she is the front desk manager at Max Fitness East (which is where I go everyday after work). She has an absolutely BEAUTIFUL voice and is not afraid to share it (she broke it down to Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas is You" last week when I was leaving the gym and it made my day!!!). It was at that point that I remembered auditions for worship team would be in January right around the time we should have been going toHaiti
People have heard me play my guitar and sing and they tell me that I should be helping with worship. For at least the past year and a half now, a mentor has told me to get my butt in gear and get involved in worship. I usually shrug her off the first few times, not gonna lie. Were the words of others really honest? Did they honestly think I could be that good? Then again, why would they lie to me? God has given the signs (words of others, The Networks class I took on spiritual gifting, as well as various other courses on spiritual gifts) and finally I found myself sitting in a meeting with the worship pastor at Faith E. Free. I found myself in that meeting with many others I assumed were more willing to worship and better at it than I am. I was finding myself hesitant and unsure of why I was even bothering. Then he mentioned auditions because of the amount of people signed up to help (talk about an internal freak out taking place). My heart was basking in the gloomy blanket of doubt instead of confidence. Am I avoiding confidence because I have let it lead to pride and sin so often in my life?
I will admitHaiti Haiti Haiti Haiti Haiti and Africa have excited me to unbelievable proportions). I also believe that one day God will bless me with opportunities to go and serve. Haiti Haiti
I sat and listened to beautiful voices this morning, wondering if I could "measure up". I was lost in thought during the last song (I will admit part of that may have been because I didn't know the song). Then God spoke to my heart, words that scare me but steer my heart to a "priority" that needs to truly be a priority. It is hard to put into words but it went something like this: "How can I allow you to follow your own heart when you cannot follow Mine for you?" What did this speak to me? I was overwhelmed by emotion... trying not to break down because I didn't want to deal with running mascara (yeah I said that). I believe God has given me a heart for missions, something I believe He will continue to grow in me and educate me in throughout my life. I believe He will also reveal my "role" in missions. What He is showing my heart, however, is that He wants my obedience to His heart for me before honoring my own.
It is a scary thought to honor an unknown. It scares me to take worship team off of the back burner and make it a priority. The lie, I am realizing, is that I am not good enough. It is a lie that has controlled me for much of my young life. The thought of measuring up reinforced that lie, a lie that God called out this morning as I listened to a sister sing!!! It is scary to make a priority of something I love to do but am hesitant to share with others because I am worried about what they might think of me. I am scared... but my heart is actually somewhat excited. It is a strange feeling really. But here is the big thought and truth behind this... which hopefully makes sense... : I have to want to follow God's heart before I can follow my own, no matter how well intentioned my motives may seem at the time. By learning to follow after what His heart longs for for me, it then becomes my own desire in a good, not selfish, way. My heart needs to desire that which God wants for me and has given me. God has gifted so we can gift and blessed so we can bless. It takes that step into obedience to bless with the gift He has given.
"Though it is difficult to labor without the guarantee of fruit, that cannot be our motive to serve God or we won't last long."
These thoughts came to me last night (Saturday night) as I finished the book. So here are my thoughts: God is saving me right now. While going to
----------------------------------------------------------
NOW, to share with you what happened this morning at church. All of the above was last night... the next part of this novel (sorry it is so long) is everything that happened this morning. I will just say that God is SO STINKIN' COOL!!! It's awesome!!! Sorry it is so long... I like to write... it's a disease I have ;).
An add on to Saturday... doubt. Doubt that I had heard God speak to me about
I sat and listened to the sermon and wondered what God was working out with recent events. My friend was helping lead worship today. I see her quite often as she is the front desk manager at Max Fitness East (which is where I go everyday after work). She has an absolutely BEAUTIFUL voice and is not afraid to share it (she broke it down to Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas is You" last week when I was leaving the gym and it made my day!!!). It was at that point that I remembered auditions for worship team would be in January right around the time we should have been going to
People have heard me play my guitar and sing and they tell me that I should be helping with worship. For at least the past year and a half now, a mentor has told me to get my butt in gear and get involved in worship. I usually shrug her off the first few times, not gonna lie. Were the words of others really honest? Did they honestly think I could be that good? Then again, why would they lie to me? God has given the signs (words of others, The Networks class I took on spiritual gifting, as well as various other courses on spiritual gifts) and finally I found myself sitting in a meeting with the worship pastor at Faith E. Free. I found myself in that meeting with many others I assumed were more willing to worship and better at it than I am. I was finding myself hesitant and unsure of why I was even bothering. Then he mentioned auditions because of the amount of people signed up to help (talk about an internal freak out taking place). My heart was basking in the gloomy blanket of doubt instead of confidence. Am I avoiding confidence because I have let it lead to pride and sin so often in my life?
I will admit
I sat and listened to beautiful voices this morning, wondering if I could "measure up". I was lost in thought during the last song (I will admit part of that may have been because I didn't know the song). Then God spoke to my heart, words that scare me but steer my heart to a "priority" that needs to truly be a priority. It is hard to put into words but it went something like this: "How can I allow you to follow your own heart when you cannot follow Mine for you?" What did this speak to me? I was overwhelmed by emotion... trying not to break down because I didn't want to deal with running mascara (yeah I said that). I believe God has given me a heart for missions, something I believe He will continue to grow in me and educate me in throughout my life. I believe He will also reveal my "role" in missions. What He is showing my heart, however, is that He wants my obedience to His heart for me before honoring my own.
It is a scary thought to honor an unknown. It scares me to take worship team off of the back burner and make it a priority. The lie, I am realizing, is that I am not good enough. It is a lie that has controlled me for much of my young life. The thought of measuring up reinforced that lie, a lie that God called out this morning as I listened to a sister sing!!! It is scary to make a priority of something I love to do but am hesitant to share with others because I am worried about what they might think of me. I am scared... but my heart is actually somewhat excited. It is a strange feeling really. But here is the big thought and truth behind this... which hopefully makes sense... : I have to want to follow God's heart before I can follow my own, no matter how well intentioned my motives may seem at the time. By learning to follow after what His heart longs for for me, it then becomes my own desire in a good, not selfish, way. My heart needs to desire that which God wants for me and has given me. God has gifted so we can gift and blessed so we can bless. It takes that step into obedience to bless with the gift He has given.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Ready for Christmas?
So often I feel blinded by the secular meaning of Christmas: gifts, giving, receiving, spending, gifts, decorations, trees, lights, and gifts. I often overlook and even forget about the true meaning of Christmas... the best gift of all. John 3:16 says, "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." That, my friends, is the best gift of all!!!! We may be ready for Christmas as society sees it today... but are we ready for the true reason for the season? I would like to share a poem with you. It was in a devotional I read this morning and is so true... it spoke to my heart and I pray it does to yours as well!!
------------------
------------------
Ready For Christmas?
“Ready for Christmas,” she said with a sigh,
As she gave a last touch to the gifts piled high,
Then wearily sat for a moment and read,
Till soon, very soon, she was nodding her head.
Then quietly spoke a voice in her dream,
“Ready for Christmas? What do you mean?
Ready for Christmas when only last week
You wouldn’t acknowledge your friend on the street.
“Ready for Christmas, while holding a grudge?
Perhaps you had better let God be the judge,
Why, how can the Christ-child come and abide
In the heart that is selfish and filled with pride?
“Ready for Christmas when only today
A beggar lad came and you turned him away
Without even a smile to show that you cared?
The little he asked – it could have been spared.
“Ready for Christmas? You’ve worked, it is true,
But just doing the things that you wanted to do.
Ready for Christmas? Your circle’s too small –
Why, you are not ready for Christmas at all!”
She awoke with a start and a cry of despair,
“There’s so little time and I’ve still to prepare.
O Father, forgive me, I see what You mean,
To be ready means more than a house swept clean.”
Yes, more than the giving of gifts and a tree,
It’s the heart swept clean that He wants to see;
A heart that is free from bitterness, sin –
Ready for Christmas – and ready for HIM.
~Author Unknown~
“Ready for Christmas,” she said with a sigh,
As she gave a last touch to the gifts piled high,
Then wearily sat for a moment and read,
Till soon, very soon, she was nodding her head.
Then quietly spoke a voice in her dream,
“Ready for Christmas? What do you mean?
Ready for Christmas when only last week
You wouldn’t acknowledge your friend on the street.
“Ready for Christmas, while holding a grudge?
Perhaps you had better let God be the judge,
Why, how can the Christ-child come and abide
In the heart that is selfish and filled with pride?
“Ready for Christmas when only today
A beggar lad came and you turned him away
Without even a smile to show that you cared?
The little he asked – it could have been spared.
“Ready for Christmas? You’ve worked, it is true,
But just doing the things that you wanted to do.
Ready for Christmas? Your circle’s too small –
Why, you are not ready for Christmas at all!”
She awoke with a start and a cry of despair,
“There’s so little time and I’ve still to prepare.
O Father, forgive me, I see what You mean,
To be ready means more than a house swept clean.”
Yes, more than the giving of gifts and a tree,
It’s the heart swept clean that He wants to see;
A heart that is free from bitterness, sin –
Ready for Christmas – and ready for HIM.
~Author Unknown~
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Breaking Down My Pride
A Season of Receiving
Here recently I have found myself in a wonderful place, yet it is a position that makes so many of us quite uncomfortable. I sit and reflect on recent circumstances and think hard on the season of life God has me in. I have trouble admitting it but looking at life shows me in a season of receiving. While it is Christmas time, that is not what I am talking about... although Christmas gifts are awesome. This season of receiving is more like Life at this point has me in a position to receive. Receiving... unexpected gifts... a friend handing me cash as a gift... a doctor waiving a fee along with being patient with me... living free for months... free food that randomly shows up at our house (it is kind of like a scavenger hunt without clues!!!)... using another person's washer and dryer for an evening. Receiving unexpected gifts and at just the right time, that is how God plans out our lives to grow our faith.
Receiving can be so hard, especially for somebody who would rather be doing the giving. I think about all areas of my life and see provision... provision to receive. I pray and pray, looking at what I can give... and as strange as this sounds (and as difficult as it is to say), my role, my giving is in allowing others to give (confusing to me as well but I don't really know how to put the thought into better words at this point). It is a gift for others to give to somebody in need... even if that somebody not-so-willingly but willingly receives. Why is it so difficult for us to simply receive a gift? This question was asked by the K-Love morning crew earlier this week and the majority of the answers pointed to one thing: PRIDE. Pride can be such an ugly word, one that I do not want to face in my own life. The prideful will fall and God will lift up the humble. Unfortunately, I look at the past few months and see how prideful I was in my life. Right now, I am witnessing a beautiful thing: God is breaking down my pride.
I am beginning to see life through a new lens but some of the thoughts that have journeyed through my mind are thoughts of being inadequate and irresponsible... "what did I do to be put in a position to receive?" instead of "what is God showing me through these circumstances?" There is also a feeling or obligation of owing somebody something if they give to me and I receive... even though that is not the definition of a gift. Even though the inadequacy and acts of being irresponsible may be false, pride and guilt often try to justify the reason behind people's giving and providing... when really they see an opportunity to show Jesus to another in need and do as the Spirit leads them to do in providing. The truth is that God has me here for a reason and the circumstances are what they are because God simply wants them to be. I believe they are what they are because God is breaking down my pride. Gaining this perspective has not been easy, a bit painful really, and often I have sat in tears mostly in denial, only making the process more difficult.
I took pride in my health, my "better" finances, a "better" car, and a trip toHaiti
1 Corinthians 6:19 & 20 say, "Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."
I managed to convince myself that I was honoring God when I was really seeking and falling into obsession. God has pointed this out to me recently. Then there are my finances... possibly the thing that feeds the inadequacy and irresponsible lies the most... the thing that makes it so difficult to face my pride. When they don't exist or are not what I want them to be or expect them to be, the inadequacy lie kicks in. Asking for money is so hard. Receiving money seems more difficult. (I'm blessed by those who know me and help me in this area without even a thought). Asking has to do with me and me alone asking for that help but receiving involves more than me. Not only does the lie focus on me as being inadequate, but Satan takes it to a whole new level. The devil creeps in and there is the guilt... the pain of thinking that the other person involved sees me as inadequate and irresponsible... even if it is not the truth. I have recently found myself in somewhat of a pickle financially (before my car cost me $500). I fought pride and called a trusted friend to help me beat an easily accessible temptation... I definitely cried over making the call. I walked away from the exchange baffled by generosity and the quick response by another to the Spirit to be obedient. I also walked away awed by my own stupidity and the words that fell from my lips... the words of a prideful person. I was helped... but after the words of comfort "this is a gift" from the other person, what escaped my tongue was "no it's not"... and I stood there dumbfounded. I couldn't believe the words that I had just vomited... that is when I began to see God calling out and breaking down my pride. A short conversation and apology left me knowing that person understands where I was... and the comfort that only God can give.
It is a gift for others to give and provide for needs. It is a gift to receive and a blessing from my true Provider. Whether that be my health, finances, doctor's visits, waivers, or living free, God has been using it all to break down my pride. God has taken me to a position to receive in order to grow me and my faith in Him. I have to rely on Him to provide. God has taken opportunities and given me new ones to be patient and wait on His timing instead of my own. He is showing me what it means to "conform" to His plan not my own and to give into Him. Often my plan does not follow fully what His plan truly is. A trip postponed but how the words "Really? You're upset with HIS plan?" can put God's ways into perspective, a new perspective, and helped me see a different role I am to play at this point in life. God has given us all positions to give and to receive. This is a season of receiving. He is, after all, the Giver of life and Provider of all I need!!!
Here recently I have found myself in a wonderful place, yet it is a position that makes so many of us quite uncomfortable. I sit and reflect on recent circumstances and think hard on the season of life God has me in. I have trouble admitting it but looking at life shows me in a season of receiving. While it is Christmas time, that is not what I am talking about... although Christmas gifts are awesome. This season of receiving is more like Life at this point has me in a position to receive. Receiving... unexpected gifts... a friend handing me cash as a gift... a doctor waiving a fee along with being patient with me... living free for months... free food that randomly shows up at our house (it is kind of like a scavenger hunt without clues!!!)... using another person's washer and dryer for an evening. Receiving unexpected gifts and at just the right time, that is how God plans out our lives to grow our faith.
Receiving can be so hard, especially for somebody who would rather be doing the giving. I think about all areas of my life and see provision... provision to receive. I pray and pray, looking at what I can give... and as strange as this sounds (and as difficult as it is to say), my role, my giving is in allowing others to give (confusing to me as well but I don't really know how to put the thought into better words at this point). It is a gift for others to give to somebody in need... even if that somebody not-so-willingly but willingly receives. Why is it so difficult for us to simply receive a gift? This question was asked by the K-Love morning crew earlier this week and the majority of the answers pointed to one thing: PRIDE. Pride can be such an ugly word, one that I do not want to face in my own life. The prideful will fall and God will lift up the humble. Unfortunately, I look at the past few months and see how prideful I was in my life. Right now, I am witnessing a beautiful thing: God is breaking down my pride.
I am beginning to see life through a new lens but some of the thoughts that have journeyed through my mind are thoughts of being inadequate and irresponsible... "what did I do to be put in a position to receive?" instead of "what is God showing me through these circumstances?" There is also a feeling or obligation of owing somebody something if they give to me and I receive... even though that is not the definition of a gift. Even though the inadequacy and acts of being irresponsible may be false, pride and guilt often try to justify the reason behind people's giving and providing... when really they see an opportunity to show Jesus to another in need and do as the Spirit leads them to do in providing. The truth is that God has me here for a reason and the circumstances are what they are because God simply wants them to be. I believe they are what they are because God is breaking down my pride. Gaining this perspective has not been easy, a bit painful really, and often I have sat in tears mostly in denial, only making the process more difficult.
I took pride in my health, my "better" finances, a "better" car, and a trip to
1 Corinthians 6:19 & 20 say, "Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."
I managed to convince myself that I was honoring God when I was really seeking and falling into obsession. God has pointed this out to me recently. Then there are my finances... possibly the thing that feeds the inadequacy and irresponsible lies the most... the thing that makes it so difficult to face my pride. When they don't exist or are not what I want them to be or expect them to be, the inadequacy lie kicks in. Asking for money is so hard. Receiving money seems more difficult. (I'm blessed by those who know me and help me in this area without even a thought). Asking has to do with me and me alone asking for that help but receiving involves more than me. Not only does the lie focus on me as being inadequate, but Satan takes it to a whole new level. The devil creeps in and there is the guilt... the pain of thinking that the other person involved sees me as inadequate and irresponsible... even if it is not the truth. I have recently found myself in somewhat of a pickle financially (before my car cost me $500). I fought pride and called a trusted friend to help me beat an easily accessible temptation... I definitely cried over making the call. I walked away from the exchange baffled by generosity and the quick response by another to the Spirit to be obedient. I also walked away awed by my own stupidity and the words that fell from my lips... the words of a prideful person. I was helped... but after the words of comfort "this is a gift" from the other person, what escaped my tongue was "no it's not"... and I stood there dumbfounded. I couldn't believe the words that I had just vomited... that is when I began to see God calling out and breaking down my pride. A short conversation and apology left me knowing that person understands where I was... and the comfort that only God can give.
It is a gift for others to give and provide for needs. It is a gift to receive and a blessing from my true Provider. Whether that be my health, finances, doctor's visits, waivers, or living free, God has been using it all to break down my pride. God has taken me to a position to receive in order to grow me and my faith in Him. I have to rely on Him to provide. God has taken opportunities and given me new ones to be patient and wait on His timing instead of my own. He is showing me what it means to "conform" to His plan not my own and to give into Him. Often my plan does not follow fully what His plan truly is. A trip postponed but how the words "Really? You're upset with HIS plan?" can put God's ways into perspective, a new perspective, and helped me see a different role I am to play at this point in life. God has given us all positions to give and to receive. This is a season of receiving. He is, after all, the Giver of life and Provider of all I need!!!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
I am Blessed
Wow!!! It has been over two weeks since I've posted anything to my blog... I may be kind of going through withdrawals, but at the same time it has been a good break from the "norm" of life as I know it. So much has happened in two weeks... so much of a roller coaster of a ride known as life... ups and downs both occurring... and at times I feel like I've been flipped upside down only to land on my feet again. Life can be crazy sometimes, especially when some of it is so difficult to figure out. So here are a few "short" updates ("short" to me is not short to others so you get what I give!!!)
My life is blessed beyond anything I ever could have imagined. I have a wonderful family, physical and spiritual... both of which I absolutely LOVE!!! God has blessed me with wonderful people... and it has taken some really difficult situations and circumstances to see just how wonderful. A few examples would be my health and the sweet doctor I have... not to mention modern medicine and the technology available to help try and figure out what is wrong with me. Another example is the financial issues and how God is providing in TREMENDOUS ways to help me through that, even when I pay a ridiculous amount to get my car fixed... there has always been a way through it and He is providing that for me right now through the "givers" and living arrangements. The last example... moving and the mess it can be, but how God is giving me helping hands for an afternoon to get moved and in and out and everything that comes with moving.
My life is blessed with helping hands, encouraging words, and perseverance on the part of the people who see to it that I am up and moving around and provided for, whether that be "back home" or here in Manhattan, at home or at work or in an office somewhere. God has blessed me and it blows my mind!! I'm blessed with "I love you", hugs, smiles, and advice from people grown to give it. I am blessed... I am thankful... need I say more?
My life is blessed beyond anything I ever could have imagined. I have a wonderful family, physical and spiritual... both of which I absolutely LOVE!!! God has blessed me with wonderful people... and it has taken some really difficult situations and circumstances to see just how wonderful. A few examples would be my health and the sweet doctor I have... not to mention modern medicine and the technology available to help try and figure out what is wrong with me. Another example is the financial issues and how God is providing in TREMENDOUS ways to help me through that, even when I pay a ridiculous amount to get my car fixed... there has always been a way through it and He is providing that for me right now through the "givers" and living arrangements. The last example... moving and the mess it can be, but how God is giving me helping hands for an afternoon to get moved and in and out and everything that comes with moving.
My life is blessed with helping hands, encouraging words, and perseverance on the part of the people who see to it that I am up and moving around and provided for, whether that be "back home" or here in Manhattan, at home or at work or in an office somewhere. God has blessed me and it blows my mind!! I'm blessed with "I love you", hugs, smiles, and advice from people grown to give it. I am blessed... I am thankful... need I say more?
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thoughts from a Wondering Heart
Maybe this is safe... maybe not... to be posting thoughts that have sat on my heart for most of the day. I am thinking more on the safe side than anything else... as I've sat and procrastinated on writing with this constant nudge and nag to do it even though I don't necessarily want to. It is one of those "I know I should but I don't want to" types of deals... and KU basketball may or may not have distracted me. I've had the thoughts there for hours and yet hesitate to explore them more. I've had them there but am almost scared to go deeper... heart feelings deeper, that is what scares me. Why? Because it has revealed so much selfishness in the depth of my heart... how I've "taken advantage" of grace and the blessings given to me. I've taken much for granted... I'm not even sure I have realized that... and still doubt that I fully understand the extent of all that is given that goes unrecognized in my life. I do not completely comprehend how my heart feels right now... my mind is still searching. I know that if I don't get my thoughts out and down I won't sleep well tonight. I know that at times I open my mouth when I shouldn't and keep it closed when it needs to be opened... just like today (in both the opening and the keeping shut). I sat around a table looking at faces... the faces I work with every day... enjoying a "Thanksgiving meal". Who does that at work? It was absolutely AWESOME... but I think I'm still in awe of the fact that it really happened... it never has at any other job I have worked... just sat with approximately 20 others, enjoying a "typical" thanksgiving meal... sitting around a table, enjoying time with each other... listening, laughing, smiling, enjoying, talking, and sharing... what is something you are thankful for? And I kept my mouth shut... didn't say my thanks... didn't take advantage of an opportunity put there by the Lord to share just one simple blessing He has shared with me. I sit and look at faces, some who know and some who don't. I listen to stories, some I know and some I don't. And I have the chance to share the blessings in my own life... but my mouth stays shut... and I can't put my thumb on exactly why but my heart aches because I didn't share. It aches because of the ears that were there to hear... and I second guess that maybe it just wasn't the time to share... the only thing that really gets me is that urge, nudge, and push to share and I didn't do it... I didn't obey what I feel was guidance to share... just a thought from a wondering mind and heart.
I could have shared how I am blessed beyond belief... the miracles of my life... but my heart falls on the difficult situations some of those faces have experienced recently and my life seems too good to be true... and would it make somebody bitter? Would it be taken as Truth, or a show? I don't know and that isn't my decision... it is theirs to make. I am thankful for the do-overs given by God... every day... more than once. My heart is blessed by that. I'm blessed with health that, yes at times is difficult and hard to explain, but that has gone through a miraculous roller coaster ride over the last three years... thankful for no more needles... a miracle with no more need for insulin when everything pointed the other direction a few short years ago... thankful for an outstanding doctor who loves Jesus who I know I can trust and my heart takes comfort in that. I'm blessed in my job... a few months ago I was questioning why I was where I was... did I really enjoy being there? And now I have so much fun with the people around me that I work with on a daily basis... so much fun... an attitude shift and new friends that I would have otherwise missed out on having as friends. My heart is blessed and wooed by music... worship to my marvelous God who blessed me with the musical talents of singing and playing piano and guitar. My life is blessed with family... family who loves me... a beautiful family with two wonderful parents who sacrificed more than I know and four stellar brothers that I could count on as bodyguards if I ever would be in need I'm sure... and the most adorable, handsome, precious nephew who I refer to as the "man" in my life (other than Jesus of course). And my other family... the family that God has surrounded me with here in Manhattan (now scattered around the world)... the family I have at Faith E. Free... the weekly meetings with Life Group (and food)... the support in any area of life... the wonderful women who offer me counsel and wisdom in ways they know will cut to the core and get through a thick skull, but they know I will listen to what they have to say even if for a moment I disagree, I still listen... counsel offered spiritually, professionally, in every area life really. So blessed to have that... but I do not express it enough... it is that deserving mentality and selfish blanket over my heart. For some reason it has been another "for granted" gift that a few years ago I wanted nothing to do with. Now, I couldn't imagine life without it... and God made it that way, sharing with one another, being a disciple and leader... those "Paul and Timothy" relationships exist because God wants them to... and I am blessed to have multiple "mothers" in addition to the loving one 200 miles away... I know I'm in good hands... the hands the Lord has blessed.
The biggest of blessings: my freedom... fleshly and spiritually. The freedom to write this blog and within it talk about God freely. I have the freedom to open my mouth and speak of the Lamb who was sacrificed for me on a cross even though I'm not worth it... never have been, never will be. I have the freedom to share the greater freedom given by God. Freedom safe because of those who sacrifice every day to serve a country that so often seems to throw them under the bus... there are thankful citizens that I pray far outnumber the ungrateful ones. Thank you Troops and Veterans. Thank you to a grandfather who served... a smile and peck on the cheek I can't wait to have when I am home in a few short weeks for Thanksgiving... yet another couple of blessings I have always taken for granted. Thank God for freedom... freedom in life and freedom in Him, the only Freedom and Truth... only found in my Savior Christ Jesus. A freedom to buy books about God, receive books about Jesus, and read about His greatness... only to have the freedom to share it with others, an opportunity I pray I take next time. A freedom I will never comprehend and never know the true depths of the cost of my freedom in any sense... I just know I have it because of Christ. Thankful... something I shouldn't take for granted as much as I do. Thankful that God doesn't expect me to ever be perfect even if, at times, I fall into the trap of thinking I should be closer to perfect than I am. Thankful for a Truth that outweighs any lie fed to my heart by Satan. Thankful for the Cross and all it has blessed me with. Thankful for one, true Love... that has much more to offer... thankful for that friendship. Thankful to be a daughter of the King.
I could have shared how I am blessed beyond belief... the miracles of my life... but my heart falls on the difficult situations some of those faces have experienced recently and my life seems too good to be true... and would it make somebody bitter? Would it be taken as Truth, or a show? I don't know and that isn't my decision... it is theirs to make. I am thankful for the do-overs given by God... every day... more than once. My heart is blessed by that. I'm blessed with health that, yes at times is difficult and hard to explain, but that has gone through a miraculous roller coaster ride over the last three years... thankful for no more needles... a miracle with no more need for insulin when everything pointed the other direction a few short years ago... thankful for an outstanding doctor who loves Jesus who I know I can trust and my heart takes comfort in that. I'm blessed in my job... a few months ago I was questioning why I was where I was... did I really enjoy being there? And now I have so much fun with the people around me that I work with on a daily basis... so much fun... an attitude shift and new friends that I would have otherwise missed out on having as friends. My heart is blessed and wooed by music... worship to my marvelous God who blessed me with the musical talents of singing and playing piano and guitar. My life is blessed with family... family who loves me... a beautiful family with two wonderful parents who sacrificed more than I know and four stellar brothers that I could count on as bodyguards if I ever would be in need I'm sure... and the most adorable, handsome, precious nephew who I refer to as the "man" in my life (other than Jesus of course). And my other family... the family that God has surrounded me with here in Manhattan (now scattered around the world)... the family I have at Faith E. Free... the weekly meetings with Life Group (and food)... the support in any area of life... the wonderful women who offer me counsel and wisdom in ways they know will cut to the core and get through a thick skull, but they know I will listen to what they have to say even if for a moment I disagree, I still listen... counsel offered spiritually, professionally, in every area life really. So blessed to have that... but I do not express it enough... it is that deserving mentality and selfish blanket over my heart. For some reason it has been another "for granted" gift that a few years ago I wanted nothing to do with. Now, I couldn't imagine life without it... and God made it that way, sharing with one another, being a disciple and leader... those "Paul and Timothy" relationships exist because God wants them to... and I am blessed to have multiple "mothers" in addition to the loving one 200 miles away... I know I'm in good hands... the hands the Lord has blessed.
The biggest of blessings: my freedom... fleshly and spiritually. The freedom to write this blog and within it talk about God freely. I have the freedom to open my mouth and speak of the Lamb who was sacrificed for me on a cross even though I'm not worth it... never have been, never will be. I have the freedom to share the greater freedom given by God. Freedom safe because of those who sacrifice every day to serve a country that so often seems to throw them under the bus... there are thankful citizens that I pray far outnumber the ungrateful ones. Thank you Troops and Veterans. Thank you to a grandfather who served... a smile and peck on the cheek I can't wait to have when I am home in a few short weeks for Thanksgiving... yet another couple of blessings I have always taken for granted. Thank God for freedom... freedom in life and freedom in Him, the only Freedom and Truth... only found in my Savior Christ Jesus. A freedom to buy books about God, receive books about Jesus, and read about His greatness... only to have the freedom to share it with others, an opportunity I pray I take next time. A freedom I will never comprehend and never know the true depths of the cost of my freedom in any sense... I just know I have it because of Christ. Thankful... something I shouldn't take for granted as much as I do. Thankful that God doesn't expect me to ever be perfect even if, at times, I fall into the trap of thinking I should be closer to perfect than I am. Thankful for a Truth that outweighs any lie fed to my heart by Satan. Thankful for the Cross and all it has blessed me with. Thankful for one, true Love... that has much more to offer... thankful for that friendship. Thankful to be a daughter of the King.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Life, Scripture, & 30 Days
As you may have noticed recently there have been some decently large gaps in my posts. That is due to a crazy schedule and me allowing life to be overwhelming... which was not done intentionally but I did let it happen. I will say that even though everything seems to be falling back into place, do not be surprised if I only write every so often (then again that may be a relief to some of you... haha!!). I am trying to get back into the swing of things and when I feel compelled to write, I will. I would like to ask you to pray for the next few months of my life if you would. There will be moving involved (possibly more than one move), the holidays, fundraising, my trip to Haiti, and being in a friend's wedding. Pray that I keep my heart focused on Jesus and that, even though it seems like a lot to handle, in the scheme of things this is all very small. Pray that instead of allowing it to overwhelm me I enjoy the ride.
Other than all of the above, here is some insight in to what I will be doing!!!! Somebody recently challenged me to pick a key word and search the verses where that word can be found. I changed the rules a bit and chose a couple of books of the Bible I want to focus on and chose two words to search out in those books. Scripture focus: Psalms and Proverbs. Why? The poetry is INCREDIBLE and it is like music to my heart which makes it easier for me to "understand". The words: Fortress and Peace. Fortress: My heart needs the assurance that I am protected and safe in the arms of the One who loves me. I need the comfort of knowing and seeing God is my Protector and my Provider... and I have definitely been seeing this lately. Peace: I am a worrier. I allow thoughts and life to overwhelm me and the only thing to calm me down is the peace of God. Something I took as a sign: the person challenging suggested I look at what the Scriptures say about peace. That sign was followed by a message at church titled "How do I stop worrying?"
One other thing I will be working on is "30 Days of Thanks". Now, obviously it isn't just 30 days that we should give thanks but we should be thankful in all we have and in every situation. Focusing on being thankful and being intentional about it for the 30 days of November, however, jump starts something that lasts a lifetime... and I saw other people doing this and thought it was an awesome idea!!! I look back at each day and find the "thankfuls".
The list as of now:
November 1: Laughter and smiling... it happened a lot!!!
November 2: Ability to function early in the morning; wise counsel in multiple "areas" of my life; sweet fellowship with those who love the Lord.
November 3: Answers to prayer; finding value in others; a roof over my head and a place to sleep at night.
Other than all of the above, here is some insight in to what I will be doing!!!! Somebody recently challenged me to pick a key word and search the verses where that word can be found. I changed the rules a bit and chose a couple of books of the Bible I want to focus on and chose two words to search out in those books. Scripture focus: Psalms and Proverbs. Why? The poetry is INCREDIBLE and it is like music to my heart which makes it easier for me to "understand". The words: Fortress and Peace. Fortress: My heart needs the assurance that I am protected and safe in the arms of the One who loves me. I need the comfort of knowing and seeing God is my Protector and my Provider... and I have definitely been seeing this lately. Peace: I am a worrier. I allow thoughts and life to overwhelm me and the only thing to calm me down is the peace of God. Something I took as a sign: the person challenging suggested I look at what the Scriptures say about peace. That sign was followed by a message at church titled "How do I stop worrying?"
One other thing I will be working on is "30 Days of Thanks". Now, obviously it isn't just 30 days that we should give thanks but we should be thankful in all we have and in every situation. Focusing on being thankful and being intentional about it for the 30 days of November, however, jump starts something that lasts a lifetime... and I saw other people doing this and thought it was an awesome idea!!! I look back at each day and find the "thankfuls".
The list as of now:
November 1: Laughter and smiling... it happened a lot!!!
November 2: Ability to function early in the morning; wise counsel in multiple "areas" of my life; sweet fellowship with those who love the Lord.
November 3: Answers to prayer; finding value in others; a roof over my head and a place to sleep at night.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Remind Me
So often when life doesn't seem to be what I want it to be, I lose sight of the big things... like who I am, not just to those around me but to the most important one of all, God. I don't believe Him when He says loving things to me... when I read the loving things He promises... when He sings His song to me. I forget who I am in Christ, having been redeemed and saved, a daughter of the King. I so often, unfortunately can forget these things. I am blind to love and care and the blessings around me... the blessings I can't even name and have lost count of. Life is difficult when I can't escape from my own brain... when I'm so focused on me that I can't see anything else. That is when life is difficult... when I make it about me. What am I living for? Anybody can get stuck in a rut and even though life is great they can feel down... invisible... and at times forgotten... all feelings I've dealt with recently. But I know I'm cared for. Little blessings, honest conversations, loving and caring guidance by the ones God has blessed me through... ones who set me back to the one I should be focused on.
And God? He blesses me through verse, comfort, and song. The verses I need to read and say out loud and share with others... the verses that others use to reinforce and grind into my brain just how much God really loves me and how much I mean to the King... and how much I am loved by, not just my physical family, but also my spiritual one. And God blesses. I'm written on the palm of his hand... marks that can never go away... marks that are there forever and will never go away or be let go. He holds me... literally... in the palm of His hand. My name is on His hand... put there by God Himself because He loves me. Little me... loves the one who struggles and so often falls into the trap of thinking she doesn't mean anything, when in reality I mean so very much to Him. And verses and songs fly down from Him to my weary and bleeding heart. He sings to me. Verses like Isaiah 49:16 "See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands." and another in Isaiah 43:4 "... you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you." He speaks. He sings, holds me in His hands, loves me, comforts me.
I want to share a song that I heard for the first time a couple weeks ago. I love the lyrics and it was a blessing in disguise when I heard it on my way to work. It was exactly what I needed to hear... even if I didn't necessarily "listen" to the words. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, but then I kept hearing it over and over again... and the phrase of "remind me who I am to you, I am loved by you" stuck in my head and heart. The song is "Remind Me Who I am" by Jason Gray. What is funny is that I tried to copy and paste the lyrics but I can't highlight them to copy and paste and therefore had to type them out word by word... and God speaks as I type them... reminding me who I am to Him even when I feel like I'm left behind or in the dark. I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do!!!!
-------
"Remind Me Who I Am"
By: Jason Gray
When I lose my way,
And I forget my name
Remind me who I am
In the mirror all I see
Is who I don't want to be
Remind me who I am
In the loneliest places
When I can't remember what grace is
Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
To You
When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home
Remind me who I am
When I can't receive Your love
Afraid I'll never be enough
Remind me who I am
If I'm Your beloved
Can You help me believe it
Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to you, that I belong to You
To You
I'm the one You love
I'm the one You love
That will be enough
I'm the one You love
Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, Who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, Who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
To You
And God? He blesses me through verse, comfort, and song. The verses I need to read and say out loud and share with others... the verses that others use to reinforce and grind into my brain just how much God really loves me and how much I mean to the King... and how much I am loved by, not just my physical family, but also my spiritual one. And God blesses. I'm written on the palm of his hand... marks that can never go away... marks that are there forever and will never go away or be let go. He holds me... literally... in the palm of His hand. My name is on His hand... put there by God Himself because He loves me. Little me... loves the one who struggles and so often falls into the trap of thinking she doesn't mean anything, when in reality I mean so very much to Him. And verses and songs fly down from Him to my weary and bleeding heart. He sings to me. Verses like Isaiah 49:16 "See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands." and another in Isaiah 43:4 "... you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you." He speaks. He sings, holds me in His hands, loves me, comforts me.
I want to share a song that I heard for the first time a couple weeks ago. I love the lyrics and it was a blessing in disguise when I heard it on my way to work. It was exactly what I needed to hear... even if I didn't necessarily "listen" to the words. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, but then I kept hearing it over and over again... and the phrase of "remind me who I am to you, I am loved by you" stuck in my head and heart. The song is "Remind Me Who I am" by Jason Gray. What is funny is that I tried to copy and paste the lyrics but I can't highlight them to copy and paste and therefore had to type them out word by word... and God speaks as I type them... reminding me who I am to Him even when I feel like I'm left behind or in the dark. I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do!!!!
-------
"Remind Me Who I Am"
By: Jason Gray
When I lose my way,
And I forget my name
Remind me who I am
In the mirror all I see
Is who I don't want to be
Remind me who I am
In the loneliest places
When I can't remember what grace is
Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
To You
When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home
Remind me who I am
When I can't receive Your love
Afraid I'll never be enough
Remind me who I am
If I'm Your beloved
Can You help me believe it
Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to you, that I belong to You
To You
I'm the one You love
I'm the one You love
That will be enough
I'm the one You love
Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, Who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, Who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
To You
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
12:50 a.m.
What do I do when it is 12:50 a.m. and for some unknown reason I cannot sleep? I share my thoughts... which is dangerous when I'm used to being asleep for at least 3 hours by this point... and have to be up in 4. But I am excited... my heart is smiling and my mind is relaxed... and it is not just because I am tired or delirious or in La la land because it is this late (or early). It is because of the words of the people who care and love me. It is because of words that give life and build up... and knowing that I have people who offer them and honestly mean what they are saying. That is what excites me. Because God is good... more than good... more than great... He is indescribable. He is God. To some that may not mean much at all. To me it means everything. It means life. It means when I feel like I'm hanging by a thread that is unraveling, not sure what will happen if it breaks, He is that last strand that keeps holding on and never comes undone. It means when I'm running up the down escalator, He is the one who makes it stop until I reach the top... then life is set back in motion. God being God means everything to me. My heart sings about Him, rejoices in Him, and resides in His light. It means that my heart is blanketed by His love and joy... my mind resting in His hands, wrapped up in His peace. Feelings that words cannot do any justice to. God... my Provider, Rock, Husband, Redeemer... the fortress that guards me against the enemy... the white knight who rescues me from evil... the love that sweeps me off my feet and guides me along a path in the right direction. A light bulb flickers on... I do not know why now... I do not know why there was darkness to begin with. I know it will be there and I may not always understand... if I understood then it wouldn't be there. If I knew why there are times I am down, then I would fix it and would not allow there to be down times. If I knew what was wrong, then I would make it right... but I don't know... and for some reason all of the sudden I am okay with that. That reason is God. That reason is the purpose of me being here... living... breathing... loving... praising. That reason is God. Was it something somebody said to me? It is nothing I haven't heard over and over and over again... it was the source of the Word. I am precious... honored... and loved. I'm a princess... a daughter of the King. Not merely words to try and convince myself I'm happy... they are words given by my Lover, my King, the Creator to one child He loves... considers precious. The words of those around me who love Him... breathing life into a weary heart... calling that heart and spirit precious... a treasure... a blessing. His love shining through those who love Him. And it all comes back to Him. God. The End... and Beginning... and Forever. God. Yeah... thoughts at 12:50 a.m. (now really 1:05 a.m.). Quite wonderful thoughts to have meandering through my head at 1:05 a.m.
---------------------------------
Verses that have inspired me to write at such an hour:
"...you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you."
~*Isaiah 43:4 (NLT)*~
"For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires."
~*Hebrews 4:12 (NLT)*~
---------------------------------
Verses that have inspired me to write at such an hour:
"...you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you."
~*Isaiah 43:4 (NLT)*~
"For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires."
~*Hebrews 4:12 (NLT)*~
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Psalm 32:7-8
Recently I have been struggling with a difficult discussion that needed to be had. It was one of those ones that most really do not enjoy having. The topic: Boundaries. I pushed of the promptings to have "the talk" as I did not want to face the results or reactions of the other person involved. I was trying to lean on myself, my own strength instead of allowing God's protection to blanket me. I did not want to hurt the other person by setting a boundary... but if it was not set then both of us would end up in the negative and hurt. I struggled and shrugged off the Spirit's lead for far too long.
Then I followed... and struggled more. I fought back the feeling of being angry with myself, feeling like a jerk, and a bad friend for saying something. Then came God's gentle reminder: I am His daughter... a daughter of the King. I am His beloved... not a jerk. God loves me and His love means more to me than any love offered from the flesh. He will protect and strengthen me for I am His. And even when the issues is difficult, He knows what is best for me. God will lead me down the best path through my life... even if it seems a bit close to the edge or narrow at times. I have to accept that guidance and simply just follow, knowing He is watching over me and planned out every step of the way.
-----------------------------------
" 7 For you are my hiding place;
you protect me from trouble.
You surround me with songs of victory.
8 The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you.""
~*Psalm 32:7-8 (NLT)*~
Then I followed... and struggled more. I fought back the feeling of being angry with myself, feeling like a jerk, and a bad friend for saying something. Then came God's gentle reminder: I am His daughter... a daughter of the King. I am His beloved... not a jerk. God loves me and His love means more to me than any love offered from the flesh. He will protect and strengthen me for I am His. And even when the issues is difficult, He knows what is best for me. God will lead me down the best path through my life... even if it seems a bit close to the edge or narrow at times. I have to accept that guidance and simply just follow, knowing He is watching over me and planned out every step of the way.
-----------------------------------
" 7 For you are my hiding place;
you protect me from trouble.
You surround me with songs of victory.
8 The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you.""
~*Psalm 32:7-8 (NLT)*~
Monday, October 17, 2011
Psalm 19:14
I want to share a few verses that have been on my heart lately and give a brief insight as to how they help me through a day when I really lean on God's strength in the Word. The first is one of my favorites and has been a verse that I have kept close for almost a year now. Matthew 6:21 says, "Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." It has tied into my word for the year: Focus. Where is my heart focused and what do I consider to be my treasure? I often get caught up in the world in general... and mostly the world of finances. Here lately the world of "bodily image" has popped up on my radar as compliments are given... but I cannot take credit and know that the focus is on being healthy for God's purpose, not my own. The second verse is one that was laid on my heart a little over a week ago. Deuteronomy 13:4 says, "Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him." The questions posed in my heart are: who am I "serving", why and what do I fear what I do, and who is it that I'm clinging to? I have this struggle, as many people do, to run to people with my issues and complaints instead of running to the One... the Creator. This verse, along with Jeremiah 17:5, have really put my "running" in perspective. Why not run to the one who created me? Why instead do I want to run to somebody who, if they are honest, does not know it all? Just sayin!! The most recent verse is one that God took me to in the wee hours of this day. Psalm 19:14 says, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." It took me slightly by surprise, but rested my heart. It took me back to a week ago to a meaningful conversation I had with somebody about a prayer being said on the way to work... that it would be God who guides words and actions. God meant for those words to be spoken with the gentleness in which they were spoken so that I would hear them, even if I did not necessarily understand their significance at the time.
This verse is now a prayer of my heart. The beautiful poetry about God's greatness and why I should trust in Him caught my attention and now sticks like glue to my mind. The prayer of my heart is to be pleasing to God even when I may not be so to the people around me. Every thought, word, and action that comes from me needs to be for Him. A question asked in my Life Application Bible that got me thinking: Would you change the way you live if you know that every word and thought would be examined by God first? So I then thought: Do you change how you act if your boss is around (or in the case of some it is their boss’s boss)? Do you watch your language and actions around your mother? (I giggled some when I thought of the phrase "do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"... then again I have been pretty giggly today so you may not find that as funny as I did in my conversation with God this morning). But really, God is not with me only some of the time like "mere humans" are... He is with me always. He knows the words before I speak them and the thoughts before I think them... Psalm 139 is yet another passage that I LOVE to read but I will let you look that up on your own time ;). A good thought to end on, taken again from my Life Application Bible: As you begin each day, determine that God's love will guide what you say and how you think. That is all friends!! I just wanted to share the "God-excitement" from my life at this point in time!!!
This verse is now a prayer of my heart. The beautiful poetry about God's greatness and why I should trust in Him caught my attention and now sticks like glue to my mind. The prayer of my heart is to be pleasing to God even when I may not be so to the people around me. Every thought, word, and action that comes from me needs to be for Him. A question asked in my Life Application Bible that got me thinking: Would you change the way you live if you know that every word and thought would be examined by God first? So I then thought: Do you change how you act if your boss is around (or in the case of some it is their boss’s boss)? Do you watch your language and actions around your mother? (I giggled some when I thought of the phrase "do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"... then again I have been pretty giggly today so you may not find that as funny as I did in my conversation with God this morning). But really, God is not with me only some of the time like "mere humans" are... He is with me always. He knows the words before I speak them and the thoughts before I think them... Psalm 139 is yet another passage that I LOVE to read but I will let you look that up on your own time ;). A good thought to end on, taken again from my Life Application Bible: As you begin each day, determine that God's love will guide what you say and how you think. That is all friends!! I just wanted to share the "God-excitement" from my life at this point in time!!!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Jeremiah 29:11-14
Recently... like yesterday... I have realized something. It was an epiphany of sorts... definitely a harsh realization but more than that it was wonderful. What did I realize? I have been selfish. I knew it before but did not realize the extent of my selfishness until being called out by somebody I look up to. My selfishness has torn me down and away from God. My selfishness said me over God. At the beginning of this year I chose a word for the year. That word: Focus. I pray for it because I want my life to be focused and it has been to some extent but not completely where my focus NEEDS to be. God has been tweaking that focus, adjusting my heart vision to where it should be. Little by little I have began to see my selfishness and just how negative my attitude and heart have been because of it. I sit here and write almost every morning and although what I write is definitely true, it does not stick with me throughout the day like it should. Why? Because of a lack of focus on God. That lack of focus has led to more than just selfishness. It has led to a lack of trust, faith, and reliance on God. I have not sought Him the way my heart, not just should, but NEEDS to seek Him in order to keep focused. I look at this past week and realize that those things that have put me in a bad mood or frustrated me are such small, temporary, and barely minor details that there is no reason to be upset about them. So small the issues in my life, yet somehow they seem larger than that. Everything happens for a reason, to fine tune and grow, but not everything (or anything) should be blown up to life size proportions the way they sometimes are. I want to see positive so first I need to be it. I see a person I admire walking around with a smile and shining with confidence in God and I realize that I want that. I realize that is a choice I have to make every second of every day. I realize that my life is not as bad as I act like it is. I have it SOOOOO easy compared to most. I am blessed. I need to live as such. I realize that the life I want to live, a life of confidence and joy in God can only be achieved by Him. It can be achieved by focus on the One who can break the chains that bind. That focus is a decision that I am excited to make.
-----------------------------------
""For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”"
~*Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NLT)*~
-----------------------------------
""For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”"
~*Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NLT)*~
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Psalm 62:1-2
Silence: a lesson being learned. Quiet. Still. Tranquil. Peaceful. Lately none of these words have described my heart. It has been restless and anxious, crying out to God, worrying that maybe He was not hearing me or that I was not "praying or asking the "right way"". But He does hear. God does hear the cry of hearts who love Him and long for Him. Even though He may be silent for a time, He never leaves me alone and is always there to comfort me. My heart was screaming for a sign, my mind was racing without brakes, worrying that He just was not hearing me. In all honesty, I was just being impatient. I was not quiet. My mind was not still. My heart was not at rest in Him. All of this because I was not patient and I did not feel like waiting for Him. But He was waiting for me. Boundaries stretched but not broken. God delivered as He always does, a sign that He does hear and is near to a restless heart. And the raging storm was calmed by His mighty, protective hand. He knows what I can handle, even if I often doubt it. He knows that patience will grow as faith in Him grows. Silence, my lesson being learned: the stillness and peace of God. What a comfort. What a blessing.
------------------------------------------------------------
1 I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken.
~*Psalm 62:1-2 (NLT)*~
------------------------------------------------------------
1 I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken.
~*Psalm 62:1-2 (NLT)*~
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Craziness Known as Life
What a weekend it has been. What a stretch the past month has been. What a battle life has been. In the mix of good and bad there is God. In the mix of my life there has been the bad. In the mix of my struggles there has been the good. In the mix has been my God. He has this tendency to humble us by whatever means He needs. I am broken before Him, crushed, exhausted, and beaten. God – the only One who can put together the shattered. Put together the way God wants me to be put together, not how I imagined me or necessarily want to be put together. Because God is the artist and I am the work of His hands, His work of art, He puts me together the way the Creator works a masterpiece. Shattered… it is the place most have to be taken to in order to see the glory of God in life. To some, that sounds silly, I know it did to me at first but now I see it. Because I am powerless to defend my life and fight for myself, the only place God can get me to realize I need Him is a place of breaking me down. That is how I could describe life lately. Hectic, anxious, weary, and finally to the point of broken is life. It is amazing how quickly God pieces life back together. It is amazing how quickly He can turn a heart to look to Him. I have seen the glimpses here and there. I have caught a blessing and KNEW that was what it was, a blessing. But I did not lean into His presence and His glory. It is hard but nobody said it would be easy. Hit like a ton of bricks it can be a crushing blow known as being humbled by God. If I don’t humble me, God will. He did it and it is astounding!!! Jeremiah 17:5-10 because I have not trusted in God and it is so easy to run to somebody over God because they are visibly standing right in front of me. I have trusted too much in “mere humans” and not enough in God. 2 Chronicles 14:11 because I am powerless to defend myself against anything in life and only God can battle for me. I have relied on a power of my own over the power that created eternity and gave breath to life. Deuteronomy 13:4 because I have served more than God and have not been on my knees in obedience to Him when He has called. I have not clung to Him as God but developed the “plus God” disease… my job plus God, my finances plus God, my life plus God… and nothing should be in addition to God. It should be God alone. And the final blow… the knock out and comfort that everything happens for a reason, God-incidence not coincidence Romans 8:28 because everything works together and happens for a purpose. Because I couldn’t see that everything works together and my peanut brain couldn’t believe it or trust in it. My heart strayed, turned away, and sulked until I couldn’t take it… but a shoulder to cry on was God. He answered. He comforted. He gave clarity and blessing and peace and hope. And I know. I know that I am not alone because it is spelled out all over the Bible that God is with me wherever I am. Joshua 1:9 because I needed to remember God is with me. A text message taken as a sign for a listening ear… impeccable timing but God’s plan nonetheless. Wisdom and love given by God. Life only given by God. That is the craziness known as my life at this point. A craziness blanketed in love by my God who never leaves me alone and gives me support and ears to cry to but not abuse or run to over Him. A humbling experience when I need it most blanketed by His peace and comfort because He is God and only He can fight my battle for me… I can’t even fight for myself. Only God because He is God. That is enough for me.
----------------------------------------------
" 5 This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans,
who rely on human strength
and turn their hearts away from the Lord.
6 They are like stunted shrubs in the desert,
with no hope for the future.
They will live in the barren wilderness,
in an uninhabited salty land.
“Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans,
who rely on human strength
and turn their hearts away from the Lord.
6 They are like stunted shrubs in the desert,
with no hope for the future.
They will live in the barren wilderness,
in an uninhabited salty land.
7 “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.
9 “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
and desperately wicked.
Who really knows how bad it is?
10 But I, the Lord, search all hearts
and examine secret motives.
I give all people their due rewards,
according to what their actions deserve.”"
and desperately wicked.
Who really knows how bad it is?
10 But I, the Lord, search all hearts
and examine secret motives.
I give all people their due rewards,
according to what their actions deserve.”"
~*Jeremiah 17:5-10*~
---------------------------------------
"...O Lord, no one but you can help the powerless against the mighty! Help us, O Lord our God, for we trust in you alone..."
~*2 Chronicles 14:11*~
---------------------------------------
"Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him."
~*Deuteronomy 13:4*~
--------------------------------------
"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
~*Joshua 1:9*~
---------------------------------------
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
~*Romans 8:28*~
Friday, October 7, 2011
Isaiah 26:1-6
Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you sit back and marvel at it... the creativity of God? This has been somewhat of a rough week yet a lot of learning is being done. I have been restless, anxious, and worn out... all from wrestling and battling and worrying. I ask God for signs, a kind word here or there, or to show me something in His glory. I have gotten a few but this morning was AMAZING!!! As I stepped out of my apartment to go to work, I just happened to look up. And there I saw it. I saw God's sign directly in front of me, exactly where I looked. The most wonderful shooting star streaked a short line through my sight and although it didn't last more than a half of a second, it was all I needed. God used His creativity, majesty, and excellence and in just half a second He had all of my attention. I found myself looking up my entire way to work, searching the skies for more of the same beauty and wonder I had just witnessed a short time before. Then it hit me and God was definitely speaking to my heart. The way I was searching the skies for yet another shooting star, that is how I should be seeking after Him. The way I was looking up is where I need to look to find Him. I will admit that this has been a bit difficult lately, but God knows what I need. He knew a simple sign of beauty would get me to look up and search for more. God knew how to draw my attention to Him and open the ears of my heart to hear. He has my attention, eyes, ears, and all.
------------------------------------------------
"... Our city is strong!
We are surrounded by the walls of God’s salvation.
2 Open the gates to all who are righteous;
allow the faithful to enter.
3 You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
4 Trust in the Lord always,
for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.
5 He humbles the proud
and brings down the arrogant city.
He brings it down to the dust.
6 The poor and oppressed trample it underfoot,
and the needy walk all over it."
~*Isaiah 26:1-6 (NLT)*~
------------------------------------------------
"... Our city is strong!
We are surrounded by the walls of God’s salvation.
2 Open the gates to all who are righteous;
allow the faithful to enter.
3 You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
4 Trust in the Lord always,
for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.
5 He humbles the proud
and brings down the arrogant city.
He brings it down to the dust.
6 The poor and oppressed trample it underfoot,
and the needy walk all over it."
~*Isaiah 26:1-6 (NLT)*~
Thursday, October 6, 2011
James 4:7-8
It amazes me everyday to see how God works, not just in my life, but in the lives of those around me. What amazes me more is His presence and peace in my life in the good and the bad times. I have felt it so much lately and it is indescribable. Through the words and prayers of friends I have felt a calming peace and know that it is God's blessing and presence. As I run and read and learn more and more about His faithfulness, I feel Him present here. In a battle being fought but already won by Christ, I see His glory and majesty and know that when I am near to God, Satan stands no chance. When I am surrounded by the prayers of those who love Jesus, I am blanketed and shielded by a wall that cannot be knocked down simply because of the power of Christ. The nearer to God I am, the further away from Satan I am.
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"So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world."
~*James 4:7-8 (NLT)*~
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"So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world."
~*James 4:7-8 (NLT)*~
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
James 1:12-15
Why is there evil in this world? Could it be simply because we, mankind, exist? Just a thought that has been circulating in my head. God is not evil, nor does he lead us to do evil. Satan tempts us and we choose to either give it up to God or give in to temptation. I face it everyday. Most everybody, I assume, faces temptation every day. Some choose God. Others choose the worldly self-satisfaction. Have you ever wondered what life would be like here on earth if 10% more would choose God over self? What about even just 5%? I know evil would still exist in this place and that temptations would still present themselves as obstacles for our hearts and minds. But how sweet would that be? God doesn't tempt, but he does provide us a way out and through temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13).
How do you combat temptation and evil? Recently I have struggled mightily with this question. Prayer? How often? Do I still have God on my side? FOR SURE!!!! I have to remember the race that I am running and why I am running it. My heart has often lost focus on the cross this past month. I have been set on finishing for me. I have sought approval and at times attention from others over that of God. My heart lost focus on what matters the most and who matters the most. I was not set on the cross. Only the greatest and best gift, the shiniest and most prestigious award can be given by God. Only God can crown with the crown of eternal life.
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"God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death."
~*James 1:12-15 (NLT)*~
How do you combat temptation and evil? Recently I have struggled mightily with this question. Prayer? How often? Do I still have God on my side? FOR SURE!!!! I have to remember the race that I am running and why I am running it. My heart has often lost focus on the cross this past month. I have been set on finishing for me. I have sought approval and at times attention from others over that of God. My heart lost focus on what matters the most and who matters the most. I was not set on the cross. Only the greatest and best gift, the shiniest and most prestigious award can be given by God. Only God can crown with the crown of eternal life.
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"God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death."
~*James 1:12-15 (NLT)*~
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Hebrews 12:1-3
Endurance is something to be built gradually over a steady period of time. It is not something that is instantaneous, that happens overnight or in one workout. In a previous post I mentioned that I am working my way through the Couch to 5K running plan. It is a gradual process of building endurance and getting into shape. I am on week two which means running for longer periods of time. With endurance and strength building, the first workout of this week (week two) is difficult, but not as difficult as it would have been had I not gone through week one of the training plan. Day two of week two was already easier than day one of week two.
Such it is in life I am learning. My endurance, strength, and mental and spiritual health have taken a decently big hit recently. At first my question was the usual "why God?" question. Courtesy of proper "training" it is now the "what are you doing through this God?" and "how are you working in this God?" questions. So often the "why" is the first question when I struggle. It is becoming more and more what it should be and that is the "what" and "how" replacing the "why". Through the restless but not quite sleepless nights and days of "fatigue" it has been difficult to ask and see the "what" God is working in my life. Endurance... little by little, over a stretched and steady period of time, God is building that endurance in me. He has provided me with the proper "training equipment" and has blessed me with so many wonderful "coaches" to push me and hold me accountable. The strength to persevere can only be found in Christ who faced much more than I will ever face. That is the fuel to keep going.
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"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up."
~*Hebrews 12:1-3 (NLT)*~
Such it is in life I am learning. My endurance, strength, and mental and spiritual health have taken a decently big hit recently. At first my question was the usual "why God?" question. Courtesy of proper "training" it is now the "what are you doing through this God?" and "how are you working in this God?" questions. So often the "why" is the first question when I struggle. It is becoming more and more what it should be and that is the "what" and "how" replacing the "why". Through the restless but not quite sleepless nights and days of "fatigue" it has been difficult to ask and see the "what" God is working in my life. Endurance... little by little, over a stretched and steady period of time, God is building that endurance in me. He has provided me with the proper "training equipment" and has blessed me with so many wonderful "coaches" to push me and hold me accountable. The strength to persevere can only be found in Christ who faced much more than I will ever face. That is the fuel to keep going.
----------------------------------------
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up."
~*Hebrews 12:1-3 (NLT)*~
Friday, September 30, 2011
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Encouragement that needs encouraging: my workout plan. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 are going to be my motivation for my health for the next few months and probably many more to follow... a straight reminder that my body is not my own but that it belongs to God. As somebody has told me, I am only "renting" or "babysitting" this earthly body for God. When something precious to another is entrusted to me, I generally do my best to take care of it. In the past that has not necessarily been the case with my body. It hit home hard after rereading "God bought you with a high price". I have read these verses many times but never took verses 19 and 20 to heart the way I should have. Sure I have been working out and eating healthy, but was that truly for God or mostly for me? So encouragement that needs a little encouraging and motivation at this point: I am chugging my way through the "Couch to 5K" workout plan. I can honestly say that I have NEVER been able to run more than a half of a mile. Part of that was because I was lazy and part was because I have never taken it to heart that my body was not my own and did not treat it as though I was living for Christ. I have survived week one of the C25K program, but it got difficult here towards the end. As silly as it may sound, Satan has also been attacking me, telling me that I can't do it... there is no way I will make it through C25K because I have never been able to do it before... why could I do it now? I know that I can do it IF my focus is on the One it should be... the Creator. My body is not mine; it is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I have been chosen to take care of it.
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"Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."
~*1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT)*~
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"Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."
~*1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT)*~
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