About a week and a half ago I shared "Breaking Down My Pride", something that God is continually doing in my life. I shared how my pride often blinds me and how sometimes God breaks down pride by putting life as I know it on hold. He has been showing me how much I have taken for granted in my life. Over the past few days, God has brought to mind a few things I have taken for granted... and honestly have cherished selfishly. My health, my family, and my life are a few. Yes, my health and diabetes has left me feeling kind of lousy at times recently, but it is getting better and my problems are minor compared to some I know. I love my family. I look forward to the holidays when I get to travel home to see them. I love my spiritual family and the support they give me away from home. I am twenty-four years old and blessed, but for some sad reason I may not always see it that way. I look at the lives of some of those closest to me and the unbelievably difficult circumstances that they are facing.
A friend who's husband was just diagnosed with cancer. Another who has a mother battling for her life... who is also trying to balance that with wedding planning and grad school. My heart was left breaking... and recently it has broken to bleeding... pain for those in pain that I don't know if I've experienced before. A friend who lost a younger sister because of an asthma attack and a family and young husband grieving the loss of a loved one. A few short days later I learn of another friend who is battling the loss of a younger brother killed in a car accident. That was the breaking point for my heart and the tears would not stop coming as I looked at the lives of those I love and hold so dear. Pain for those in pain... grief for those grieving. In no way can I even imagine the pain truly felt... the gut wrenching and aching pain that only Christ can help subside. My stomach knots as I type this... wondering how to manage so much in such a short time. I'm in awe by those above... not sure how I could ever begin to process or handle a situation like any of them.
But here is what amazes me: the faith shown through all of this by those mentioned above. The faith shown in the midst of tragedy and hardship. Faithful. Beautiful. Faith for the One who gives and takes away... our Creator and Redeemer. It is amazing, and yet a strange feeling, when the one trying to encourage the hurting is encouraged by them instead. I am experiencing that feeling right now. I'm in awe of so much faith and love... how when I call to check up on one person they instead check up on me... how one can maintain a balance of craziness in life and still give their time to help me move... how a grieving father loses a twenty-two year old daughter and still shares how it is in God's plan for life and the purpose of all is for good and how eternal healing has been perfected... how a sister grieving the loss of a twenty-three year old brother can say to me "We will def miss him! Lucky guy - gets to be with Jesus! :-) Thankfully Jesus can be in more than one place at once"... and I'm left stunned and unsure what to say.
How many millions of words are spoken through so few words and actions like these? My heart is left to wonder how many lives are touched or are being ministered to by such words and actions like these. My mind is still trying to wrap itself around it all. I am blessed. I am encouraged and blessed and my heart is being bound by such words and actions of faith. Faith in action... it speaks millions. Worship in words. The tears are no longer that of grief alone but of joy and amazing encouragement offered by those around me... words of those who truly know what it may look like to walk through the valley of the shadow of death and have a table prepared before them in the presence of the enemy (as stated by a sister in one of the scenarios given). And so it continues... binding up a broken heart. God will bind up a bleeding and broken heart... He is the only one who can!!! It is amazing to experience how God works.
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"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
~*Psalm 34:18*~
"The Lord is close to all who call on him,
yes, to all who call on him in truth."
~*Psalm 145:18*~
"He heals the brokenhearted
and bandages their wounds."
~*Psalm 147:3*~
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