12:50 a.m.

What do I do when it is 12:50 a.m. and for some unknown reason I cannot sleep?  I share my thoughts... which is dangerous when I'm used to being asleep for at least 3 hours by this point... and have to be up in 4.  But I am excited... my heart is smiling and my mind is relaxed... and it is not just because I am tired or delirious or in La la land because it is this late (or early).  It is because of the words of the people who care and love me.  It is because of words that give life and build up... and knowing that I have people who offer them and honestly mean what they are saying.  That is what excites me.  Because God is good... more than good... more than great... He is indescribable.  He is God.  To some that may not mean much at all.  To me it means everything.  It means life.  It means when I feel like I'm hanging by a thread that is unraveling, not sure what will happen if it breaks, He is that last strand that keeps holding on and never comes undone.  It means when I'm running up the down escalator, He is the one who makes it stop until I reach the top... then life is set back in motion.  God being God means everything to me.  My heart sings about Him, rejoices in Him, and resides in His light.  It means that my heart is blanketed by His love and joy... my mind resting in His hands, wrapped up in His peace.  Feelings that words cannot do any justice to.  God... my Provider, Rock, Husband, Redeemer... the fortress that guards me against the enemy... the white knight who rescues me from evil...  the love that sweeps me off my feet and guides me along a path in the right direction.  A light bulb flickers on... I do not know why now... I do not know why there was darkness to begin with.  I know it will be there and I may not always understand... if I understood then it wouldn't be there.  If I knew why there are times I am down, then I would fix it and would not allow there to be down times.  If I knew what was wrong, then I would make it right... but I don't know... and for some reason all of the sudden I am okay with that.  That reason is God.  That reason is the purpose of me being here... living... breathing... loving... praising.  That reason is God.  Was it something somebody said to me?  It is nothing I haven't heard over and over and over again... it was the source of the Word.  I am precious... honored... and loved.  I'm a princess... a daughter of the King.  Not merely words to try and convince myself I'm happy... they are words given by my Lover, my King, the Creator to one child He loves... considers precious.  The words of those around me who love Him... breathing life into a weary heart... calling that heart and spirit precious... a treasure... a blessing.  His love shining through those who love Him.  And it all comes back to Him.  God.  The End... and Beginning... and Forever.  God.  Yeah... thoughts at 12:50 a.m.  (now really 1:05 a.m.).  Quite wonderful thoughts to have meandering through my head at 1:05 a.m.
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Verses that have inspired me to write at such an hour:

"...you are precious to me.
      You are honored, and I love you."

~*Isaiah 43:4 (NLT)*~


"For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires."

~*Hebrews 4:12 (NLT)*~