Call me crazy... whatever you want to say or think is up to you. I've struggled a lot lately. This past week has been pretty difficult. From my own "failures" to overwhelming work loads (which I made to be more than they probably really were) to relatives' health struggles... my heart aches... my eyes have been swollen... and tears have flowed... it felt like bad news was just never ending. I have struggled... my heart has hurt. And then God spoke... He spoke through the amazing support system that I have around me, the mentors, brothers, sisters, friends... He spoke through you. Most of all, He spoke through Scripture. One of the few with which I have shared my struggling heart with encouraged me to "Live in the Psalms"... that God would meet me there in the Word... and I took that advice. This morning before I got ready for church and went about my day, I sat in a quiet house (which is AMAZING and I have loved this quietness recently)... and I read one of my favorites. And God spoke through Psalm 62... hearing and responding to my heart cry of prayer and petition to Him. I hesitated to listen at first and then found my hand moving to the words being sung to my heart... I then hesitated in sharing it but realized that it blessed my heart... what if it could bless another? I love those moments when somebody shares a good "God-thought" or I am sitting and having a "God-talk" with a mentor and something they say blesses my ailing heart beyond belief. And so I am moved to share with you... my God conversation... more like a letter from God to my heart.
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My dear and precious daughter,
I know it is hard. I know it is difficult to not know, to not understand. Trust me... I am comfort for your heart. I have already taken the pain and anguish you feel and hung it on the cross. Meet me there and you will see... I am the comfort for your soul and the peace that you seek. Sit quietly, patiently, humbly before the cross. Wait for me. I love you. I love the tears you have poured out before me... just let me wipe them away. I love the sound of your grieving heart... just let me wrap my arms around it for comfort. When you weep, I weep with you... and your pain will subside if you allow me to take it away from you. I love you even more than that. Trust me... that is what faith does... trust. It does not need to understand, it simply trusts in my plan. Trust me, wait for me, sit humbly, even tearfully, before the cross... and know that I love you that much.
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"1 I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken.
3 So many enemies against one man—
all of them trying to kill me.
To them I’m just a broken-down wall
or a tottering fence.
4 They plan to topple me from my high position.
They delight in telling lies about me.
They praise me to my face
but curse me in their hearts.
5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
7 My victory and honor come from God alone.
He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
8 O my people, trust in him at all times.
Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge.
9 Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind,
and the powerful are not what they appear to be.
If you weigh them on the scales,
together they are lighter than a breath of air.
10 Don’t make your living by extortion
or put your hope in stealing.
And if your wealth increases,
don’t make it the center of your life.
11 God has spoken plainly,
and I have heard it many times:
Power, O God, belongs to you;
12 unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.
Surely you repay all people
according to what they have done."
~*Psalm 62*~
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Energy...
Lately, energy throughout the day has not necessarily been something that is difficult to come by for me. It is toward the day's end that I begin to lack energy and motivation, as is usually the case for most people... it usually happens when I need to be at home cleaning or spending time with my roommate, at the gym working out, or the time I should be spending in fellowship with others. You know that feeling? You know the feeling that you have when you know if you take a seat on the couch you are done for the night regardless of what you SHOULD be doing? Yeah, that one... that feeling has been ridiculously overwhelming recently. The days do NOT drag on and on, but by the end I am spent.
There has been much attention given to my energy level for a few days now, not just be me charting and attempting to channel it, but by other people taking notice of the craziness known also as happiness. On a recent morning, I began to wonder where it is that I am getting all of this energy and where it is going. Lately it has been an unbelievably spectacular feeling to be so "bubbly" and somewhat hyper... but just awesomely happy and joyful... feelings I have not had for a very long time. I wonder why all of the sudden I lack motivation to do much of anything by the end of the day even though the energy seems to "radiate" from me throughout it. Could it be that maybe I am draining myself?
I sit in my chair at the dining room table, my coffee and morning devo in front of me, staring out the amazingly huge windows that fill our room with the morning sunlight. I watch the sun come up over the hill that rests on the east side of my yard. I take notice... the rays slip through the breaks in the clouds, peaking through the tree branches wherever they can. Beauty and majesty... God at his finest!!! Then it hits me... energy... the complete source of energy. God is the Energy... He is the energy that I have made a renewed commitment to... Energy like no other. That is where I get it... where does it go? The source of my joy and happiness... the warmth of my heart... my bubbliness!!! I did not know that renewing a promise of focus and commitment to Christ would bring so much joy to my heart and life!!! I pray that I keep that sparkle in my life. It is the life I choose to live... faith in Christ Jesus and what He has done. That is my choice for energy. An energy source like no other... that is more than enough to keep me going.
A few reflections from this week have really energized my heart. I am blessed in so many areas of my life (all of them to be exact). One of my morning devotionals encouraged me to get up early and watch a sunrise. I giggled because at LEAST five days out of the week I enjoy this experience and marvel. What is so stinkin cool about it? God's power in the universe and how He is always providing some light in the dark places... I cannot even begin to describe or attempt to put it into words... it is that wonderful of a feeling!!! I realized just how cool mornings are when I was driving to work on an extremely clear morning. I look up and see the stars and a full moon shining so brightly. I look forward and see little rays of sunshine creeping up over the horizon... at the same time? AMAZING!!!! That just blew my mind to see the moon and the stars shining so brightly and at the same time to see signs of the sun illuminating the sky. I cannot express how amazed I was and how wonderful a feeling I felt. Take the stars and moon by themselves and see the light they give... take a sunrise and the beautiful colors that paint the sky... at the same time though? STUNNING!!! If God can do that, what can't He do? It led me to this sweet realization of just how powerful, creative, and infinite the God of the universe truly is. What an absolutely amazing revelation!!!! It is the every day blessings I so often take for granted... but God opens my eyes. He opened my eyes that morning and has done so many times since. What an awesome and indescribable God I serve!!!
---------------
The Energy
By: Sharina Marie Schaller
Written on 01/14/2012
Energy to raise the sun every morning and cause it to gently fall beneath the horizon out of sight.
Energy that lights the darkness with the moon and the stars in the sky at night.
Energy that pulls raindrops and snowflakes to a parched earth.
Energy that can take a dying seed and from it give new birth.
Energy of the living water that grows the plants and animals that feed.
Energy that causes the wind to blow - that feeling in the whisper of a breeze.
Energy that holds masses and galaxies together and swings planets around the sun.
Energy timed perfectly to shine through cracks in the clouds and trees, revealing Him as the One.
Energy that created this miracle known as life, keeps a beating heart pounding and a breathing lung filled.
Energy that provides and is the cure, that causes someone to be miraculously healed.
Energy that turns stone to clay to be molded and shaped as He wants it to be.
I have this energy burning inside and fueling me.
Energy only God can provide, making a change and breaking down walls inside.
God is the energy that keeps me going even if I feel I cannot survive.
Energy that opens my eyes to see a heart only He can revive.
If this energy flows for me, through me, and in me, then nothing can come against.
My God is my energy, the purpose for which I live.
There has been much attention given to my energy level for a few days now, not just be me charting and attempting to channel it, but by other people taking notice of the craziness known also as happiness. On a recent morning, I began to wonder where it is that I am getting all of this energy and where it is going. Lately it has been an unbelievably spectacular feeling to be so "bubbly" and somewhat hyper... but just awesomely happy and joyful... feelings I have not had for a very long time. I wonder why all of the sudden I lack motivation to do much of anything by the end of the day even though the energy seems to "radiate" from me throughout it. Could it be that maybe I am draining myself?
I sit in my chair at the dining room table, my coffee and morning devo in front of me, staring out the amazingly huge windows that fill our room with the morning sunlight. I watch the sun come up over the hill that rests on the east side of my yard. I take notice... the rays slip through the breaks in the clouds, peaking through the tree branches wherever they can. Beauty and majesty... God at his finest!!! Then it hits me... energy... the complete source of energy. God is the Energy... He is the energy that I have made a renewed commitment to... Energy like no other. That is where I get it... where does it go? The source of my joy and happiness... the warmth of my heart... my bubbliness!!! I did not know that renewing a promise of focus and commitment to Christ would bring so much joy to my heart and life!!! I pray that I keep that sparkle in my life. It is the life I choose to live... faith in Christ Jesus and what He has done. That is my choice for energy. An energy source like no other... that is more than enough to keep me going.
A few reflections from this week have really energized my heart. I am blessed in so many areas of my life (all of them to be exact). One of my morning devotionals encouraged me to get up early and watch a sunrise. I giggled because at LEAST five days out of the week I enjoy this experience and marvel. What is so stinkin cool about it? God's power in the universe and how He is always providing some light in the dark places... I cannot even begin to describe or attempt to put it into words... it is that wonderful of a feeling!!! I realized just how cool mornings are when I was driving to work on an extremely clear morning. I look up and see the stars and a full moon shining so brightly. I look forward and see little rays of sunshine creeping up over the horizon... at the same time? AMAZING!!!! That just blew my mind to see the moon and the stars shining so brightly and at the same time to see signs of the sun illuminating the sky. I cannot express how amazed I was and how wonderful a feeling I felt. Take the stars and moon by themselves and see the light they give... take a sunrise and the beautiful colors that paint the sky... at the same time though? STUNNING!!! If God can do that, what can't He do? It led me to this sweet realization of just how powerful, creative, and infinite the God of the universe truly is. What an absolutely amazing revelation!!!! It is the every day blessings I so often take for granted... but God opens my eyes. He opened my eyes that morning and has done so many times since. What an awesome and indescribable God I serve!!!
---------------
The Energy
By: Sharina Marie Schaller
Written on 01/14/2012
Energy to raise the sun every morning and cause it to gently fall beneath the horizon out of sight.
Energy that lights the darkness with the moon and the stars in the sky at night.
Energy that pulls raindrops and snowflakes to a parched earth.
Energy that can take a dying seed and from it give new birth.
Energy of the living water that grows the plants and animals that feed.
Energy that causes the wind to blow - that feeling in the whisper of a breeze.
Energy that holds masses and galaxies together and swings planets around the sun.
Energy timed perfectly to shine through cracks in the clouds and trees, revealing Him as the One.
Energy that created this miracle known as life, keeps a beating heart pounding and a breathing lung filled.
Energy that provides and is the cure, that causes someone to be miraculously healed.
Energy that turns stone to clay to be molded and shaped as He wants it to be.
I have this energy burning inside and fueling me.
Energy only God can provide, making a change and breaking down walls inside.
God is the energy that keeps me going even if I feel I cannot survive.
Energy that opens my eyes to see a heart only He can revive.
If this energy flows for me, through me, and in me, then nothing can come against.
My God is my energy, the purpose for which I live.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
All Things Work Together...
First blog of the year: Happy New Year!!! I'm hoping the New Year has been kind to all of you!!! I must say, my 2012 has started out with a bang... I was asleep on my couch by eleven o'clock on New Year's Eve... partied with the back of my eyelids and it was great!!! In a weeks' time, however, there have been the ups and downs in my life... so much can happen in such a short amount of time. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations of actions, and miscommunication by all parties have had the stress levels rising and me questioning some of the "blessings" I listed on my 2011 Blessings list... mostly the blessing that my job has been recently... that was mostly what was being questioned. Feedback on something somebody "perceived" as wrong is pretty difficult to swallow and it really honestly sucks. But as I sit back and reflect (and kind of let it fester... not gonna lie), I began to think and wonder... "God how are you going to use this? What are you doing in this whole situation?" Questions... questions I did not want to ask and really did not want to know the answers too... difficult situations and confrontation are not really something I enjoy, I must admit that.
The reality of it all hit me this morning in my morning devotional. God uses all things, instances, feedback, and happenings... He uses it all for our good... for my growth and my focus, even if it hurts or is crazy difficult to process. Romans 8:28 hit me like a ton of bricks... just like the meetings Thursday that caused the anxiety and stress to fly... only the Scripture hit me in a great way and did not cause my eyes to swell. My word for the year 2012 is commitment, as I mentioned in "Yesterdays and Tomorrows". Deep in my heart I am questioning my commitment to the "things" in my life... in this life. It hurts me most to realized that maybe I have lost focus on a few things... that sometimes commitment hurts and that I may not have been as committed as I thought I was. A harsh realization, but good one to build on.
I then realize that I am blessed by counsel, not just from God, but counsel from those who love me and love God more. Growing is hard... listening and acting on counsel can be harder... but it is a step in the right direction... even though I'm pretty block headed and I do not always allow the truth to sink in until about twenty-four hours later. I also realize that people will question my actions, attitude, and life... questions will come. And sometimes the questions will hurt, but when I sit and think and seek the counsel God gives, I realize the truth behind Romans 8:28, that He truly does know what He is doing, not just in the good but also in times that come off to me as bad. "ALL things work together for good..." and the ALL is what is brought to my attention. The ALL is the good and the bad, the fun and the difficult... but ALL... works together for one purpose. That purpose? The purpose of ALL things is to glorify God... glorify my Creator... praise Him and focus on that commitment through ALL times, the good and the bad... something I struggle with mightily but that I have guidance and counsel to point me back to Him in all things.
Slowly my anxiety and frustration have lowered, although the happenings of this week may have left a sour taste in my mouth and me questioning how much I trust some people. Reassurance came in the form of text messages from a few people who care enough to offer counsel when I seek it in times of need... prove it to them... for His glory. It is truthfully ALL in the hands of God, not of man or in the words of another. He is the one who supplies for my needs... the one who is meant to be glorified... the day is His... all is His... I am His. Refocus on commitment... commitment to Him. Let the questions and difficulties come... they come to glorify Him. Commitment. Focus. All things, work together, for good... He makes them ALL work together.
BTW, I have already kept one resolution for the year: attend at least one yoga class... talk about muscles that are sore... I am definitely that today!!! AND, Candice and I now have a new Saturday workout: Yoga... for an hour... crazy.
--------------------------
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
~*Romans 8:28*~
The reality of it all hit me this morning in my morning devotional. God uses all things, instances, feedback, and happenings... He uses it all for our good... for my growth and my focus, even if it hurts or is crazy difficult to process. Romans 8:28 hit me like a ton of bricks... just like the meetings Thursday that caused the anxiety and stress to fly... only the Scripture hit me in a great way and did not cause my eyes to swell. My word for the year 2012 is commitment, as I mentioned in "Yesterdays and Tomorrows". Deep in my heart I am questioning my commitment to the "things" in my life... in this life. It hurts me most to realized that maybe I have lost focus on a few things... that sometimes commitment hurts and that I may not have been as committed as I thought I was. A harsh realization, but good one to build on.
I then realize that I am blessed by counsel, not just from God, but counsel from those who love me and love God more. Growing is hard... listening and acting on counsel can be harder... but it is a step in the right direction... even though I'm pretty block headed and I do not always allow the truth to sink in until about twenty-four hours later. I also realize that people will question my actions, attitude, and life... questions will come. And sometimes the questions will hurt, but when I sit and think and seek the counsel God gives, I realize the truth behind Romans 8:28, that He truly does know what He is doing, not just in the good but also in times that come off to me as bad. "ALL things work together for good..." and the ALL is what is brought to my attention. The ALL is the good and the bad, the fun and the difficult... but ALL... works together for one purpose. That purpose? The purpose of ALL things is to glorify God... glorify my Creator... praise Him and focus on that commitment through ALL times, the good and the bad... something I struggle with mightily but that I have guidance and counsel to point me back to Him in all things.
Slowly my anxiety and frustration have lowered, although the happenings of this week may have left a sour taste in my mouth and me questioning how much I trust some people. Reassurance came in the form of text messages from a few people who care enough to offer counsel when I seek it in times of need... prove it to them... for His glory. It is truthfully ALL in the hands of God, not of man or in the words of another. He is the one who supplies for my needs... the one who is meant to be glorified... the day is His... all is His... I am His. Refocus on commitment... commitment to Him. Let the questions and difficulties come... they come to glorify Him. Commitment. Focus. All things, work together, for good... He makes them ALL work together.
BTW, I have already kept one resolution for the year: attend at least one yoga class... talk about muscles that are sore... I am definitely that today!!! AND, Candice and I now have a new Saturday workout: Yoga... for an hour... crazy.
--------------------------
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
~*Romans 8:28*~
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