There is a Hope.

This week has been a strange week. Allow me to refer you to my blogs for a more in depth explanation as to why. See 2 Timothy 1:6-8 and 1 John 4:16-19 at http://wonderfullybeautifulyou.blogspot.com for further reference... or just keep reading and you'll figure out what I'm talking about. On December 31, 2008 my life changed a little bit. I was diagnosed diabetic, but that could be controlled by diet and exercise for the time being. From that day until October 15, 2009 I lost almost forty pounds, graduated from Kansas State University, participated in my best friend's wedding, and lived in Africa for a month. On October 15, 2009, almost two months after returning from Ghana, Africa, my life changed a little bit more. I became a little less "normal" when I landed in the ER with extremely high blood sugars. Something that was previously a struggle became more of a struggle the next day. I learned to face a fear of needles when I began Insulin One, resulting in only one shot a day. A few weeks later Insulin Two was added bringing the grand total of shots to four a day.

My hope was fading. "Why" was a big question and for some reason I felt as though it was my fault that I was facing this situation and difficulty in my life. I was struggling more with my faith and my relationship with Christ was on the rocks. Hope faded more when Doctor One told me I would probably never move off of either of the insulins... once I started, I was stuck, I would never be allowed to be "normal" again. I struggled financially with cost of diabetic supplies and prescriptions. For the first time in my life I also had glasses. Hope kept fading with Doctor Two and my fear of doctors and life grew a little more. I did, however, begin to see some good. My faith grew a little. I had to eat healthier and make better choices. I began praying that maybe, just maybe, God would help with this situation that seemed impossible. I prayed for the possibilities brought by the healing power of God. He is God after all and all things truly are possible with Him.

Hope grew and continued to grow as I felt better, became healthier, and sought Him more. In steps Doctor Three. Hope grows more as Doctor Three helps financially in ways I never really expected from any of my doctors. Hope grew when almost two years after Doctor One told me I would probably never get off of either kind of insulin, Doctor Three did it: Insulin Two is no longer being used, at least for the time being which at this point could be two weeks or maybe longer, depending on how God has it planned. Total shots a day sits at one. Only by the power of God. If He wants it, He gets it. If He plans for it to last, glory to Him. If He has other plans and in two weeks I am back on Insulin Two, even though I may not understand the why, I understand He has a plan and a good in it. For now, however, I will enjoy the "normalcy" of no shots before meals. I will enjoy this time He has blessed me with, even if it may be short lived.

God is my hope and what inspires me daily to live, sing, play, and write. He inspires my cheesy poetry... like the poem I will share with you called "There is a Hope". God is my hope and my rock. He cannot be defeated. Whatever He wills is perfect, even though we may see it as imperfect. There is a good in it and He remains our only hope in everything.
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"There is Hope"
~By: Sharina Marie Schaller

There is a hope
Christ Jesus my Lord
His love for me
On a cross outpoured
A victory won
A hope restored
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

He died on a cross
For me, for you
Died for captive and free
For saint and sinner too
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

When all seems to fail
The world falls apart
Hold on to Christ Jesus
Keep Him close to your heart
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

His mercy never ends
His grace never fails
Through trial and pain
Through fire and hail
Love, God sends
My Savior and friend
Hope can be found
In Christ Jesus my Lord