Processing...

So yesterday was a joyful day; a happy day to say the least. A day filled with courage and excitement. Yesterday I was baptized... yet another step along my journey in a life with Christ. It was a beautiful day!! Yet, I find my heart aching. Where do I even begin to process everything that happened in the past forty-eight hours? How do I process all of the excitement mixed with some hurt and confusion? Where do I begin to process the life giving words and stories mixed with the emotions of words not meant for piercing but that still cut the surface enough to bleed a bit? How do I process the emotions of the ones who were present to join in a beautiful day mixed with the sadness of those who were not there but that I wanted to take part? How do I do that? Sitting here I wonder... I wonder how something so simple can become so difficult sometimes. I wonder how something so joyful, a time filled with excitement and happiness can still be filled with hurt and the flowing tears associated with it. And then I receive a message from a friend... a friend who has always been willing to listen and comfort and offer some advice. It is a message from a friend who has been with me through it all and that kept me going even in the toughest times... telling me how proud she is of me and how much she loves me. And the last line of the message "...a butterfly cannot fly unless it has first struggled out of the cocoon." And God has shown his face in the dark once again and I remember how much He truly loves me=)