Matthew 18:15-20

So, I am a people pleaser. I strongly dislike confrontation and conflict. I just want everybody to be happy. I try not to cause anybody grief. I do my best to keep out of conflict and definitely do not want to be the cause of it. So what happens if the conflict I often try to avoid makes its merry little way into my life? What then? What happens if a brother or sister in Christ "sins" against us? Jesus tells us to talk it out and forgive.

Matthew 18:15 "... go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone."

In the book I am currently reading, titled "Everybody's Normal Till You Get To Know Them", author John Ortberg breaks it down into seven steps:

1.) If there is conflict --> This requires acknowledging conflict, that one wronged another.
2.) You --> I have to own responsibility instead of pointing at the other and waiting for them. I am part of the conflict also. It is a two-way street.
3.) Go --> Go to the other in the conflict. Don't avoid them even though we want to at times.
4.) To the person --> "Not third parties". Instead of telling my best friend how angry I am and dragging them down with me, just go to the person in the conflict.
5.) In private --> "Use sensitivity". I don't need a mediator... I'm perfectly capable of talking one on one and would hope the other person would not approach me in front of a crowd.
6.) And discuss the problem -->"Direct communication". Try not to jump around the issue. Prolonging the discussion will not make it easier.
7.) For the purpose of reconciliation --> This is the goal: Aim at reconciliation.

I know that when there is conflict in my life, I am quick to point the finger at the other person, play the blame game, "he said, she said", make excuses, be angry at the other to another, because it is easier. Life isn't always easy. So often, because I strongly dislike confrontation, I let anger and bitterness fester and grow. That usually only makes everything worse. Are we not commanded to keep bitterness from taking root in our lives? Aren't bitterness and anger strongholds for Satan? Truth is, we can be taken hostage by bitterness and anger. (Side note: There is an awesome podcast from Lifechurch.tv called "Hostage". Pretty awesome. I'd strongly suggest checking it out!!)

How do we achieve freedom in a hostage situation? In regards to anger and bitterness, the answer is talking it out and forgiving. Forgiveness allows the freedom to breathe again. It heals us and sets us free. God's forgiveness on the cross gave us a chance to know true freedom. God's forgiveness gives us another chance, whether that is the third, fourth, tenth, millionth chance, it is still another chance to live free in Him. Should we not show mercy to another? Sometimes confrontation and acknowledgement of conflict is just the beginning of the process that ends in reconciliation.
----------------------------
"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won't accept the church's decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.

I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them."

~*Matthew 18:15-20*~