... God opens another. Recently I have faced a wide array of emotions that have been thrown my way. From sadness to excitement, disappointment to excitement, and failure to excitement... excitement that leads back to God in all areas once we seek to find Him in all areas. Most recently disappointment has flooded my heart. I was and sometimes am briefly discouraged at the door that closed. It hurts... it will hurt a bit today... it will probably hurt a bit in a few months when I look at the position and think of how much better I could have done somebody else's job (admit it, you do it to :)... haha). At first I felt as though the door was slammed in my face... you know the kind of slam that feels like some kind of sick joke. Then I realized Satan was the one causing me to feel that way. He took what can now be a learning experience, one that I am positive will be handled gently, and Satan took that and twisted it to make it seem as though I had failed. For a few long hours that is how I felt à I felt like a failure... as though I had been let down by somebody I had trusted. And in all honesty, I let this lead my heart to be angry towards this individual and that is not fair at all to them. Whether it is "justified" or not or if others say I have a right to be upset, it was unintentional hurt and disappointment. I am truly blessed by that person's spiritual maturity and life example lived out every day (especially when they go all sorts of "parent" on me at work and make me face them... painful at first, but a blessing done out of love and care none-the-less).
So I sit at my computer at lunch, ear buds in, shut off to the world, drowning out the two fellas who, on that day, kept my head above water. I read a short blog by Lysa TerKeurst and what catches my eye is that she is talking about her thirteen year old daughter. I had fought emotions all day, wondering why something that had seemed so perfect obviously wasn't so perfect after all. I read "...I’ve decided sometimes being sad or mad over stuff like this is a complete waste of my time." Wise words from a very young one. Truth. Because there will always be disappointment in this life and in this broken world... but God's promises will never fail and He will always hold true. These promises will never be broken and He will never change. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." (Hebrews 13:8). I am still CHOSEN by the most important One, even if I'm not by others in this life. I trust Him... and I trust the decision made that has led to some disappointment. I trust the person who made that decision because I trust in their relationship with our Lord Christ Jesus.
Fast forward to Alpha later that night. I must admit that I had issues focusing (and no it was not because my crazy friends Noni and Robynn were distracting me). I let my mind wander. I went to Alpha that night because I needed to hear God-talk. God took that and led my mind and heart to a beautiful realization. I am still CHOSEN. I sat reflecting on the day's hurt, not sure why it bothered me the way it did. I sat reflecting on the words of my supervisor, somebody I should probably go to and listen to more often than I do. I sat thinking of Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." I had read it that morning as one of my "chose/chosen" verses. And then Jeremiah 29:11 went scrolling through my brain: ""For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."" A verse that gets me through some really tough let downs. And then it dawns on me how much I should actually be excited that I did NOT get the job. I saw this position as perfect for me... it was "right" in my eyes, but only God knows what is right. God saw it differently and closed that door. And closing that door looked different to me. What was seen as imperfect to me, God will truly work out to perfection. I think of how excited I was that I could work for somebody so stinkin awesome and so closely to one whose advice and guidance I hold so dear (I am still working for that person, just not as closely as I would have been with that position).
God saw something different. That door was closed because God has something different planned for me already. He has something BETTER in store... and that is exciting right? What could be better than what I saw as something so perfect? Only God knows and that has me pretty pumped and jazzed right now!!! It's a beautiful thing to think that God's perfect is better than my "perfect". When one door closes... a better one opens. When one door closes... God's perfection is opened.
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"We can make our own plans,
but the LORD gives the right answer."
~*Proverbs 16:1*~
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