Call me crazy... whatever you want to say or think is up to you. I've struggled a lot lately. This past week has been pretty difficult. From my own "failures" to overwhelming work loads (which I made to be more than they probably really were) to relatives' health struggles... my heart aches... my eyes have been swollen... and tears have flowed... it felt like bad news was just never ending. I have struggled... my heart has hurt. And then God spoke... He spoke through the amazing support system that I have around me, the mentors, brothers, sisters, friends... He spoke through you. Most of all, He spoke through Scripture. One of the few with which I have shared my struggling heart with encouraged me to "Live in the Psalms"... that God would meet me there in the Word... and I took that advice. This morning before I got ready for church and went about my day, I sat in a quiet house (which is AMAZING and I have loved this quietness recently)... and I read one of my favorites. And God spoke through Psalm 62... hearing and responding to my heart cry of prayer and petition to Him. I hesitated to listen at first and then found my hand moving to the words being sung to my heart... I then hesitated in sharing it but realized that it blessed my heart... what if it could bless another? I love those moments when somebody shares a good "God-thought" or I am sitting and having a "God-talk" with a mentor and something they say blesses my ailing heart beyond belief. And so I am moved to share with you... my God conversation... more like a letter from God to my heart.
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My dear and precious daughter,
I know it is hard. I know it is difficult to not know, to not understand. Trust me... I am comfort for your heart. I have already taken the pain and anguish you feel and hung it on the cross. Meet me there and you will see... I am the comfort for your soul and the peace that you seek. Sit quietly, patiently, humbly before the cross. Wait for me. I love you. I love the tears you have poured out before me... just let me wipe them away. I love the sound of your grieving heart... just let me wrap my arms around it for comfort. When you weep, I weep with you... and your pain will subside if you allow me to take it away from you. I love you even more than that. Trust me... that is what faith does... trust. It does not need to understand, it simply trusts in my plan. Trust me, wait for me, sit humbly, even tearfully, before the cross... and know that I love you that much.
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"1 I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken.
3 So many enemies against one man—
all of them trying to kill me.
To them I’m just a broken-down wall
or a tottering fence.
4 They plan to topple me from my high position.
They delight in telling lies about me.
They praise me to my face
but curse me in their hearts.
5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
7 My victory and honor come from God alone.
He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
8 O my people, trust in him at all times.
Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge.
9 Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind,
and the powerful are not what they appear to be.
If you weigh them on the scales,
together they are lighter than a breath of air.
10 Don’t make your living by extortion
or put your hope in stealing.
And if your wealth increases,
don’t make it the center of your life.
11 God has spoken plainly,
and I have heard it many times:
Power, O God, belongs to you;
12 unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.
Surely you repay all people
according to what they have done."
~*Psalm 62*~
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