Grief. What a topic first thing in the morning, right? Not many people like to talk about it... but I want to. It looks different for everybody (this isn't a post about how you should feel or affirmation of how the world thinks we should respond to it). As I sit here this morning, I am admiring the calm glassiness of the lake while most of the campground has yet to emerge from their campers. I am listening to the birds and the bugs chirp and buzz as the sun comes up and my dogs oddly quiet so far this morning. I think about the plans we did have for the weekend. We planned to camp with friends who are family this weekend. Those plans changed as those friends needed to head south to celebrate the life of a little old lady who went to be with Jesus earlier this week, who I had the pleasure of knowing and loving for a short time. Her family is grieving right now and while we are sad she is gone, she was welcomed into Heaven by her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I think about a man we dearly care about, fighting the cancer battle, his wife by his side the whole time. I think about the many messages my mom has sent me this week about people we were around our whole lives passing away or others fighting yet another cancer battle and trying to make decisions nobody ever wants to make. I think of the women who chose Jesus over again or maybe for the first time a couple short weeks ago at Women's Encounter, how they chose to lay their grief at the feet of Jesus. Grief is heavy. It is all around us.
I think about the past month for my husband and me and what we've been walking through and what grief has looked like to us. On June 22nd, 2025, Baby Richardson was welcomed into the arms of Jesus. It's not something we have shared about a lot but when asked we don't hesitate to share and point people to Jesus. Why? Because Jesus was there both ultrasounds when we didn't see a heartbeat. I know He is present in our lives because there is peace in our hearts and a soundness in our minds that can't be explained any other way except Jesus. It's a peace that looks weird to the world around us. It is a peace that surpasses all understanding. Philippians 4:6-7 says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." He truly is the only way to explain how we have walked through our grief and the hurt in our hearts. Psalm 147:3-5 says "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars; He calls them by name. Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite." That is found in the middle of a chapter of Psalms titled "PRAISE to God for His Word and Providence".
And I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the people the Lord has surrounded us with; who have shared hugs and shed tears; who will drop anything and pray when asked; who pray for miracles we don't ask about in the midst of a request for a different miracle. I'm grateful for a coworker and his wife sharing their heart and their faith in Jesus as they walked through losing a child the week before ours joined theirs in the arms of Jesus. I'm grateful we conceived in the first place after four years of trying with no success. I'm grateful for a husband who stands firmly on Jesus and the truth of His Word because that is the rock where we have to plant our feet. And I'm grateful for my Father in Heaven. For the reminders He gives daily as we continue to walk through uncharted territory for us. I'm grateful I can crawl up in His lap, the only place of true comfort and peace for me; where I can come as I am, mess or no mess, and just be.
Grief looks different for everybody. Every day it looks different for every single person. Some days are messy. Some days grief shows up like the unannounced guest. It lets itself in without knocking and waits for you to turn on the light in the living room before you can see it sitting on your couch waiting for you. Today as I type this, I won't stop the tears from coming. They don't come often, but when they do, I know I need to let them. Other days it looks like one step at a time. Doing the things that maybe I don't want to do or don't "feel" like doing. It's continuing to go to work every day when getting out of bed may difficult in the first place. It's worshipping Him alone or in church even if I don’t feel like it because praise is a weapon that is POWERFUL. It's standing on a stage at Women's Encounter sharing this very story with 300 women, knowing darn well emotions will come before, during, and after, but knowing more so that Jesus is right beside me and that it is for God's glory… and then watching how it is used right before my very eyes. It's stopping to ground myself when panic appears for the first time in many years. It's reminding myself that God, my Father in Heaven, has good plans; that He is faithful; that He is still good.
My circumstances don't define the character of God. His promises are still true. His attributes don't change. His plans are still good. He has good plans for me (there is a song that comes to mind: Good Plans - Red Rocks Worship). Jeremiah 29:11-14a says "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity."
The other thing about grief is that we can be held captive by it. It can become a stronghold for some people and they never move on. They stay stuck. Friend, that is not where the Lord wants you to be. You have permission to grieve when it shows up because it will. But you also have permission to move on afterwards. You won’t forget about the one you are grieving by doing so. You have permission to walk in the HIS peace. There is nothing wrong with you. Grief is not a bad. It is actually an expression of losing someone or something you loved and held dearly. You have permission to grieve. I believe even Jesus grieved (we will talk about that here in a minute). But don't get stuck there. I challenge you: Don't make grief an idol. It doesn't have to steal your joy (that is exactly what the devil would love to have happen). Your peace and joy is found in Jesus (John 14 and 15 both touch on that as do many other verses in the Bible; Nehemiah 8:10 talks about the joy of the Lord being strength). I have a friend who likes to challenge people (in a loving way) to get off of their mat (your reference is John 5:1-15). Grief doesn't have to dictate your every day (that is exactly what the devil would love to have happen). Where you fix your eyes matters. Philippians 4:8 tells you where to fix your focus. Colossians 3:2 points you in the right direction as well. Colossians 3:14-17 is an excellent guide as well.
In your grief, do you fix your eyes on what you lost or the feelings that you are feeling, and wonder if it will ever end? Or do you fix your eyes on Jesus KNOWING that HE understands EXACTLY how you feel (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)? Knowing that you can find comfort and peace in Him and in the lap of your Father in Heaven? He doesn't care how messy you are. He isn't intimidated by your neediness. You don't have to "get it together" before you go to Him (I am guilty of using this phrase waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much). He invites you to come to Him. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Grief is heavy. Once I gave myself permission to grieve, a weight was lifted. Having shared my teaching and this testimony from a stage, I allowed the grief to come afterwards. Surrounded by many women who love and care about me, in their arms, in front of 300 women, I let the tears flow knowing that I was being held up by the faith of others and the strength of the Lord. And it felt like I came up for air for the first time in WEEKS.
I believe Jesus experienced grief. This morning I sat and pondered what that looked like for Him. And then I googled it 😁 Fun fact for you: the shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35. And you want to know what it is? (Hope so because I'm gonna share it with you regardless). Jesus WEPT. Yes, you read that correctly. Jesus wept. John chapter 11 is the story about Lazarus. You might know this one. And this chapter is LOADED. But what I noticed was how Jesus wept. He loved Lazarus. He loved Mary. He loved Martha. He KNEW Lazarus would rise from the dead. But still, He wept. What did Jesus do though? After He had the stone moved away, He turned to His Father in Heaven and He thanked Him. What stone do you need Him to move? Ask Him! Let Him move it! And then turn to your Father in Heaven and THANK HIM. Thanksgiving changes your heart posture. It doesn't matter what you are walking through, You can find Him in every situation, wherever you look.
After Baby Richardson's entrance into Heaven, I asked Jesus to show me where He was: where was He when we had 2 ultrasounds with no heartbeat? Where was He when I miscarried our baby? Where was He when we had an ultrasound that showed Baby Richardson was no longer in my womb? And every time, He showed me. He was holding the monitor that showed us our child. He was catching the tears as they fell from my face while I sat in the bathroom in agony (Psalm 56:8). He was holding our baby that was no longer visible on the monitor. And for those things, I thank Him. And when I decide to thank Him, I walk in His peace. And when I walk in His peace, I do the things that may be difficult to do. But my eyes are fixed on HIM. Not what was "lost" (Baby Richardson isn't "lost". My baby is cradled in the arms of Jesus and there is no safer place for that baby to be!). Not focused on the grief as it comes and then goes. On HIM. When Jesus wept or He felt grief, He turned to His Father in Heaven. In the Garden of Gethsemane, when Jesus was in agony to the point of sweating blood (Luke 22:44) and sorrowful to the point of death (Matthew 26:38), He talked to His Father in Heaven. He wept over the state of Jerusalem (Luke 19:41-44). But He knew the Father had a plan.
Know your Father has a plan. We don't have to ask why (you can, but I would encourage you not to dwell on it). We don't have to know how He is going to use it (sometimes that might happen after you are long gone. Other times you get a glimpse of His work in progress... I praise Him I got a glimpse of Him using our story to bring others to their knees before His throne). But we can trust He has good plans because He says so. His promises are yes and amen. And if you don't know what to do? Pray. Stand on the truth of who He is. But stand. Ephesians 6:13 says "Therefore take up the whole armor of God (versus 14-18), that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." His truth, His armor, it is so much lighter than carrying the weight of grief. It is infinitely more powerful as well. The enemy would love to use grief against you. Don't allow him to do so. He isn't so powerful that he can do it without your permission. But you are powerful to stand against him because YOU stand with Jesus. And there is nothing more powerful than 3 plus me; The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit, and me. The enemy loves to sneak in the lies and the guilt that you could have done something different to prevent it or that you did something wrong in the first place. You didn't. I couldn't have stopped what happened. I didn't do anything wrong. You're not guilty and neither am I. Don't let Satan plant the lies in the first place. Friend, take up His armor. Stand in His strength. And keep walking on, taking one step at a time, knowing He has good plans. If grief shows up like the unannounced guest who let's itself in and hangs out on your couch waiting for you, let it. Sit down on the couch beside it and introduce it to Jesus. He knows how to handle grief. He knows how to handle pain. Trust Him.
Every day is a new day. Every day comes with new blessings. Every day comes with opportunities to glorify Him, even in grief and hard times. Even in the valleys. Glorify Him. I love you sweet friends and would love to pray with you if you would like. Leave a comment or shoot me a message! And thank you for reading. (here is my view this morning. Enjoy it with me!!)
I have included a few links as well:
Women’s Encounter - You should join us! It doesn’t matter where you are at in your walk or if you’re walking at all. I promise He has something for you and will meet you there! Our next Encounter weekend is October 10-12: https://women.encounterthecross.com/
Men there is an Encounter waiting for you too!! August 21-23: https://encounterthecross.com/men/
Good Plans - He has them for You!!: https://youtu.be/wKgrtb2GcnU?si=H136GgYHLjYjwYmR
Love you sister! Always here, always praying.
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